Food For Thought...

Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times:

Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more.

Once you must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as any less than you deserve.

And once you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be.

- 5OH7 Blog (http://www.5oh7.com/)

Tis the season to be... Attached

Well, Monday was officially the last day of summer, and that only means one thing - besides a new fall wardrobe, yay! - couples season is upon us. Couples season you ask? Yup. You know it, the air is getting cooler, nights are getting longer, swimming, bbq's and sundresses are being replaced with apple picking, fireplaces, and matching Uggs. I mean let's be honest here, it doesn't matter how bad your last relationship was, how "happy" you are being single, or how many good shows this fall's line-up has, at this time of year having someone to cozy up too when the sun goes down feels damn good.

So, in honor of the new season, I've put together a list of some of my favourite fun fall activities that will keep that summer heat between you and your Mr. Right (or just Mr. Right Now) even though temperatures everywhere else are getting a whole lot cooler.

#5) Take a trip to the Botanical Gardens - The changing colours of the leaves is probably the most beautiful part of the season, so why not take advantage of what the city's gardens have to offer and check out nature at its finest. It's a really peaceful way to spend an afternoon together, especially when it's followed by a nice cup of hot cider.

#4) Get out to the country and go horseback riding - I know, I live in the city, and I know, I haven't done this before, but the idea of it sounds really great. Beautiful scenery, beautiful animals, beautiful afternoon, makes sense right? Yes, maybe you'll come away with a soar ass, but that's what massages are for... get my drift?

#3) Plan a 'Fright Night' - Everybody loves a good scare now and again, so plan a night to get scared together. It's a great reason to cuddle up and good way to find out what really freaks him out. There are all kinds of fun things to do for this including movies, psychics, and fun things/events around the city during the weeks leading up to Halloween.

#2) Get a good game of flag football going with friends - Let's make something clear, when it comes to relationships, not all games are bad, this kind for instance is a good one. First of all, it's one of the funner ways to get some exercise and fresh air together. Second of all, running after him, ripping that tag off him, and stomping on it is a really great way to let off any steam that you might be harboring. Third, with all the adrenaline and excitement going on, not to mention the perfectly sweat soaked t-shirt that will be clinging to his form, you're going to want to get close to him fast, unfortunately however (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) , you won't be able to thanks to the audience, so that will have to wait until after the game.

#1) Plan a pumpkin picking party - Everybody wears plaid (cuz it will look cute in the pictures), and everybody picks out a pumpkin. The idea is to bring them all back to someones place and and have a carving competition. Its a cool way to meet each others friends and just hang out in general and create a unique memory together. The best part is you get to make some goodies with the scraps! And chances are, when you're all done, you'll both stink of pumpkin, which means you'll both need a shower, hint hint. See? Good times from morning 'till night, a perfect fall day.

Dear Diary...

Is it ok to be in a relationship with someone you're pretty sure isn't "the one"?

Instructions Included...

So I was browsing through Chapters the other day, looking for my next big read, when somehow, without even knowing it I ended up in the tantric sex section. Ok, maybe I do know how I ended up there, but so what, that stuff is just plain interesting. Anyways, as I was looking through one of the books - I think it was '365 Positions for 365 Days' or something like that- all I could think was my god were some of those positions ever… taxing.

I know, you were expecting me to say creative, or interesting, perhaps even fun, but the truth is, the only words that were coming to mind were confusing and exhausting. I mean, yes the idea of spending a whole day in bed being folded over like a happy origami crane sounds kinda nice, but realistically I couldn't do any of these "poses" for 5 minutes let alone 8 hours like Sting says I'm supposed to. Partly because I'd need a sandwich in there at some point, and partly because while the thought of experiencing the big "O" in new and exciting ways over and over again does sound tempting, the reality of trying to not black out from all the blood rushing to my head as I straddle a chair up-side down and backwards with one leg over my shoulder while balancing all of his weight on me, is not.

I've never been the kind of girl who needed fine wine and lobster on a first date, just a cold beer and some pizza will do. Easy, reliable, and satisfying, that's my motto. And it applies to the bedroom too. Why risk injury in the most precious of places with summersaults and backflips when there are plenty of good old-fashioned remedies that get the job done just fine?

I just don't get it.

Words of Wisdom...

"Don't knock masturbation- it's sex with someone I love"

- Woody Allen

F.Y.I.

Usually, my FYIs for you guys consist of friendly little dating tips to try (or try to avoid) when you're out there whooing your women. Well, today's advice is a little different. Think of this more as a rare opportunity to see inside the female a brain, a secret that we've kept for a loooong time now, one which I will most likely get into trouble for telling.

Here it is: Women have their own reasons for sleeping with you. Boredom is one. To shut you up is another. To get nice things from you is a really popular one. And sometimes it's not even about you, or us for that matter, but a third party you're not even aware of altogether. Sex for us, like for you, more often than not happens for very unromantic reasons. We just don't tell you that because we don't want to let you on... or hurt your feelings.

So get over yourselves, because it's not us who are easy, it's you.

Fact...

Fact: Scientists at the University of Wellington in New Zealand have determined that the first thing men notice when looking at a woman is there breasts. Apparently, 47% of men hone in on the bust and waistline within 0.2 seconds of seeing a woman. Fewer than 20% look at her face first. While some have assumed that the reason for this is evolutionary as greater bust size and a slimmer waistline indicate higher fertility, scientists have confirmed that in fact, no, it's just 'because they are simply aesthetically pleasing, regardless of the size". (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1211479/Proof-womens-chests-really-mans-fixation.html)

Fact: New Zealand prefers to spend tens of thousands of dollars on stupid 16 month long research projects that could be answered and done with in one afternoon just by listening to what women have been saying since the beginning of time, instead of on valuable "research questions" that really matter.

Dear Diary...

As much as I dread running into an ex-fling and awkwardly pretending to not see him when I do, sometimes I will purposely go out of my way to cross his path just to see that look on his face when he sees how damn good I'm looking without him...

Unsolved Mysteries...

Why is that when you a like a guy he's elusive and unreachable, but the moment you're over him and moving on, suddenly he's everywhere and interested?

No really, like everywhere, inescapable.

Screw Cupid Pt.1

Pay attention because Samantha Scholfield just saved your life. Okay, maybe that’s a bit drastic, but seriously, at the very least, she just made it A LOT easier. I’m talking about your dating life of course. You see, she’s made it her life’s mission to experience all the rejection, awkwardness and frustration that comes with meeting guys on purpose and published it for you to read. We’re talking humiliation that you wouldn’t wish on your best frenemy here, and why? So that YOU don’t have to worry about those moments (almost) ever again. The book is called ‘Screw Cupid: The Sassy Girl’s Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys’, and it’s funny, practical, and totally (and somewhat embarrassingly) relatable. The main point of the book is that there is a right way to go about the dating game, and f.y.i. it’s not the one your mom taught you. For a bigger, better, and funner (yeah its a word) time searching for Mr. Right, you need to be sassy, smart and spontaneous. Trust her, she’s a professional.

BTS: First of all, what is a 'Sassy Girl' exactly?

SS: The "Sassy Girl" is sick of the societal norm of guy asks girl out and is ready to take her dating life into her own hands by getting out there and meeting new people, and expanding her horizons to make herself the best person she can be. She also loves herself and is confident of her awesomeness.

BTS: One thing you stress early on in the book is confidence. You say that this book is not for those who like to use the ole' 'bat-your-eyelashes-and-smile' method. Why don’t you approve of that method?

SS: Good question. It's not so much that I don't approve of the "bat-your-eyelashes" flirting - being coy and flirty definitely has it's place and can be very effective within that place. I just don't think that place is before initial contact with the guy you're interested in. Basically, if you let on that you're interested in a guy (i.e. batting your eyelashes and smiling), the excitement of the chase for him goes down dramatically, and therefore so does his interest. Guys want what they don't know they have. If you don't indicate any interest, you're setting yourself up to be much more interesting than the girl to your left who's blowing kisses, before any words are exchanged - and guys always dig the more interesting girl.

BTS: Ok, so then if girls are to ditch that method, where are they to find the confidence to take on yours? I mean, it’s one thing to talk to guys when you're little miss perfect, but it's a whole different ball game when you're little miss ... not.

SS: I think it takes much more confidence to put yourself out there with the eyelash batting and coy smiling than it does to use Screw Cupid's methods. When you make it clear you're interested, the possibility of rejection goes way up because he's very aware of your interest. Whereas if you don't indicate interest (i.e.per Screw Cupid), he can't reject you because he doesn't know whether or not you're interested. So, whether or you're little miss perfect or not, it doesn't matter because you're not putting yourself out there to be rejected. Finally, I devote a whole section of Screw Cupid to building up your confidence so that you can use Screw Cupid's methods. I start out with stuff you do everyday that's totally un-scary, and then gradually walk you through five different levels of confidence building and practice until you're completely comfortable initiating conversations with Hot Guys.

Screw Cupid Pt.2

(Continued...)

BTS: Another thing that you establish early on is the notion that there are many, many, many fish in the sea. Can you still believe in soul-mates and romance if you practice/view dating the way you do in the book?

SS: Screw Cupid is all about finding your soul-mate, so I most wholeheartedly and definitely believe in soul-mates, and I like to consider myself a realistic romantic. If you believe in one perfect guy, you have to go through many to find him. Going fishing frequently helps you learn what you like and dislike, and drastically ups your odds of actually coming into contact with someone you can truly and perfectly connect with. Soul-mates are a rarity, and it's extremely unlikely (unless you're very lucky!) that your soul-mates are going to just drop into your life without some effort on your part to expand your soul-mate net.

BTS: How universal is your message? Is the advice you give just as applicable to women in there 20s as it is to women in their 30s, 40s, or 50s?

SS: Yes - All women will be able to relate to the experiences I had when trying to figure out how to talk to guys. Some will probably have tried it themselves and others will shudder at the thought. But everyone will at one point or another have wondered "what if I just talked to him?" so even if they haven't done it themselves, they'll be right there with me.

BTS: What do you say to those who might say that following your advice takes the fun out of dating? How exciting can things get when you have a plan?

SS: Hmmmm...Well, when I think about the fun and spontaneity in dating, I think about the unknowns: Who am I going to meet? What will they be like? How hot are they? Having a plan doesn't eliminate any of that, it just allows me to more easily meet these unknown, potentially totally awesome guys.

BTS: Ok, so it's 'girls night out'. What are 5 things I need to do to make it a successful one?

SS: 1) Trade off being each other's wing-woman. If your best friend likes a guy, distract his friend for her. If you like one, she can talk about how awesome you are and then pretend she needs to leave to let you bond with him.
2) Have code words that you can use to check in with each other about the current status of the interaction. Does she like her guy? Is it time to bail? You like yours and would like to talk to him alone - does she mind leaving for a minute?
3) No competing. There are more than enough awesome guys for everyone when you're able to talk to whomever you want.
4) Wear high heels and your hottest outfit. If you feel hot, you'll look hot and exude confidence.
5) Have a goal for the evening - 5 numbers each, 10 numbers each - whatever you want. It will make the night an entertaining game.