You Tell Me...

Ok, simple question: What is that one thing that you just cannot accept in a (potential) partner? For some it's lying - although, personally I think that's kind of ridiculous, not to mention hypocritical since we all do it anyway- for others it's bad grammar. A dorky name, bad hygiene, being rude to waiters, and wearing pants covered with the patches of various NBA teams are also popular ones.

(side-eye).

So you tell me: what is your deal breaker?

Fact...

Fact: A scientist in Sheffeild, UK has finished a 60 year long study concluding that penis size - while crucial to men's confidence in terms of both body image and sexual performance - is more important amongst men themselves than women. Apparently, while 85% of women say they are satisfied by their partners size, only 55% of men were happy with what god gave them. The overall conclusion? Small penis syndrome is all in your head. Penis size doesn't really have an effect on the over-all attraction that women have toward men, so get over it. Stop stressing, because we know that, like presents, good penises come in all sorts of packages. And we will always choose quality over quantity ... except when talking shoes. (http://www.news-medical.net/news/2007/06/04/25972.aspx)

Alice in ... Loveland?

Loveland, on Jeju Island in South Korea has literally given the term "amusement park" a whole new meaning. I can't tell if I find this incredibly cool or incredibly uncomfortable. It may actually be a bit of both. Whatever the case, I could definitely get lost in this park for hours.(http://jezebel.com/5389184/and-now-its-time-for-a-nsfw-field-trip-to-love-land/gallery/)

On a side note, interesting that a country which never speaks about sex, and frowns heavily upon PDA, has come up with such an explicit and elaborate display.

What Ever Happened To...

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Dear Diary...

Sometimes I like to wear lingerie under my regular work clothes for no other reasons than to feel sexy and confident during the day...

"Just Friends"

Ok, so recently I had posted a poll asking whether an attractive straight guy and an attractive straight girl can really be "just friends". While I thought the answer was obvious, to my surprise, a good number of those who voted - I think it was like 60% percent or something- seemed to agree (with each other, and not with me) that yes, it is, in fact, very possible indeed.

Yeeeah sorry, but that definitely sounds wrong.

I don't mean to come off rude, or like a know it all either, but that just doesn't seem to make much sense when you really think about it. If you know a cute, single, straight guy with whom you have a genuine connection and a true friendship and are still not dating him, you're either stupid or stalling. I mean, isn't that what we're all looking for in a partner? Isn't that the very definition of a soul-mate? And don't give me that "I don't want to ruin the friendship" line, because that's BS, if you really are that good of friends on a supposedly "platonic" level, then it can't go wrong if you decide to make it more.

Think about it. Men and women are so fundamentally different, we just don't 'get' each other like we do our own sex. Because of that, we put a lot of value on those qualities which actually do foster a deeper connection between us. Things like humor, sympathy, intelligence and even religion are all qualities that reach out across the gender lines and connect us to people that we otherwise couldn't relate too (ie.: the opposite sex), and because they do, bonds form. And if you're straight, then you're pre-wired to react positively to those bonds and become attracted to those who make you feel them. Make sense? So if you have a guy friend, and he makes you feel like you can relate to him and really understand him - and he's not butt ugly, dumber than a rock, or into other guys (or girls) - then naturally, at one point or another, you're going to start to "like-like" him. To me, it seems rather obvious that the only thing that can stop such feelings from surfacing are circumstances, and even then, the most they can do is put things on pause.

Am I scientist? No. Am I a relationship doctor? Only in my head. All I can base my opinion off of is what I know from my own experiences, and that is this: every guy I've ever been 'friends' with - who was not gay, hideous, or already in a relationship - was either a past fling/crush or future one.

That's it, the truth plain and simple. I'm not going to pretend like I've never thought about kissing any of the guys I've ever been close "friends" with, and you shouldn't either. But if you have a story that proves me wrong and could convince me otherwise, I'd love to hear it.

Words of Wisdom...

I just heard this song a few days ago, and... whoa.

"Lions and Tigers and Bears" by Jazmine Sullivan

[Chorus]
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh my]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

[Verse]
Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom
You say you care and I know you do
But this is from my experience
And my conclusion only makes sense
Just cause I love u and u love me,
It doesn't mean that we're meant to be,
I can climb mountains, swim cross the seas,
But the most frightening thing is you & me!

[Chorus]

Most circumstances I know my fate
But in this love thing I don't get the game
Why does it feel like those who give in,
They only wind up losing a friend?
Just cause I love u and u love me,
It doesn't mean that we'll ever be,
Fly cross the ocean, sing for the Queen,
But the most frightening thing is you & me!

[Chorus]

I'm not sure no, I'm not sure
But if we never try we'll never know
It's better to have loved than not to love at all
But trying is worst than to stumble and fall
And if we do?
I'd rather it be with you
Cause at least there will be
Sweet memories

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears [oh my]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [that's right]
But I'm scared of [loving you]
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

Worst Date Ever...

It's no secret that a lot of the posts I put up here are inspired by my own personal experiences with guys. Good or bad, I'm not afraid to share them with you all. What is a secret however, is which exact ones are based on my life and which ones are not, that I like to keep to myself. But for this one, I'm going to get personal, not because I suddenly feel closer to all of you (sorry), but because one of you has asked me this question directly, so of course, I will do my best to answer... plus, it's a decent story so why not.

You know that feeling you get when you know someone is staring at you in that creepy, interested, I-purposely-didn't-bring-a-pen-so-that-I-can-ask-her-for-one kinda way, but you don't want to look them directly in the face for fear of them thinking that you're reciprocating so you just ignore them in hopes of coming off cold and hope they get the point? Well, that's pretty much the pretext of this story. A whole semester of it. Eventually both the staring and the semester ended, but not before I got depressed about my 'singlehood' and somewhat of a 'loner' status. Next thing I knew it was winter break, I was lonely, and new to facebook... so I got to stalking.

Long story short, saw the guy from class on FB, couldn't remember if he was cute or not - since I never really got to look at him with all the avoiding I was doing - so I took a chance and started talking to him. He was actually really nice, and we soon became good "friends". Then he asked me out and, in the spirit of putting myself out there, I said why not.

You know that feeling you get when you've realized that you've made a stupid decision and you start trying really hard to either turn back, or push forward the dials on your watch through an intense, focused concentration of your mind, but then realize that you are in fact, only human, and will therefore have to suffer through the consequences? Well, that's what I felt the moment I got off the bus and saw him. 5'7 (...I'm 5'9), baggy jeans covered in what I believe were various iron-on patches of NBA teams, and a limp that would put my grandmother to shame. Instantly I shut off. It was like my brain just checked out for the night, not even interested in the events to come for humour's sake. Needless to say, everything after that point was a disaster.

First of all, the plan was that I was picking-up the movie, and he was picking-up dinner. Not only did I not get a say in which movie we would get to watch because he had seen just about every movie there is and just "hates watching the same movie twice", but his taste in film happened to be shit as well and we ended up with this terrible Justin Timberlake movie, Alpha Dog. Mhmm. Then, for dinner, he offers me a bunch of take-out flyers. Being a gentleman, according to him, meant letting me choose the $8 meal of my liking. Obviously, I was very impressed. Not. When the food arrived I noticed two things: first, the delivery guy was Arab, which meant my Chinese food couldn't possibly be all that Chinesy (yet another let down to the evening), and second, for some strange reason, both the delivery guy and my date were looking over at me after the total amount due was announced. That's right, I was paying.

If my brain checked out earlier, then this was the point where the rest of body followed suit. The remainder of the evening was more or less of a blur to tell you the truth. We took the elevator back up, ate the food (which was, as predicted, absolutely terrible), and watched the movie, all of it, in absolute silence. He tried to get close, tried to get me to talk and loosen up a little, stroking my leg and trying to cuddle up, but I wasn't having any of it. I remember making up some excuse about needing to meet up with my sister in order to get out of there asap. I still saw him around school for the next year or so after that, but it was on more of a "hi" and "bye" basis.

Was it fair that I wrote him off almost instantly based on his appearance? Maybe not. Was I right to? Most definitely. So there.