Men Are Like...

... Parking Spaces.

The good ones are taken and what's left is either too small or handicapped.

10 Reasons...

... To Date An Older Guy

10. Better conversations and story telling. His thoughts and memories are formed of real things like traveling and lessons learned, instead of sports analogies and beer pong championships.

9. He can introduce you to a million an one cool "new" things you're too young to know about.

8. Someone's already "fixed" him. It might not have worked out, but she set him straight, and now you get to reap all the benefits (cooks, cleans, and dresses well too!).

7. He knows himself, which means he knows his shortcomings/idiosyncrasies and when he's messed up… which means you don't have to breakdown (or blow up) in order for him to communicate an apology to you.

6. No games. No waiting three days to call, no worrying about "where this is going", no getting back at you for anything. At this point he knows what matters and doesn't care to waste his time on what doesn't.

5. He's been around. And by that I mean, he's dated enough bad apples to know when and how to appreciate a good one (aka YOU).

4. Chivalry. Opening doors and pulling out chairs might seem like little things to most, but they mean the world to a girl who's used to having to "shotgun" the booth before even walking into a place... seriously.

3. More of a willingness to try new things. Whether it's watching 'Bad Education' and/or partnering you in a couples facial, he'll do it if means putting a smile on your face … no matter how challenging to his manhood it may be.

2. He can think past his own penis! I'm talking about when it comes to the physical, he's just… about you. (If you've made the transition from dating a boy to a dating a man, you'll appreciate this point that much more).

1. Confidence. In himself, in you, in what the two of you have going on. Doesn't get much sexier than that.

FYI

Rejection sucks. Everyone knows it, there's no way to get around it. However, it being in our nature to do so, we girls can, and often do, soften the blow for you since we don't really want you to suffer too much hurt and embarrassment.

But seriously, you guys need to start picking up on our hints, because we will get mean if we have to.

When a girl tells you "I just got out of a relationship and I'm not really seeing anyone right now", she's being kind, appreciate that. It is not an invitation to start making her see someone (as in, you), or her way of saying "I'm not ready right now, but call me in a week or so and we'll see". What she means is she's not really in seeing YOU right now, and by "right now" she means at all/ever. If she liked you, there wouldn't be an excuse. Plain and simple. She would've have made plans with you regardless of how fresh the breakup is, how hectic her job is right now, or however recently Fluffy passed away.

So take a hint, take it like the man that you are, and walk away.

Rant!

You know what's funny? How quickly word gets out when a girl finds herself single again. Or worse, how every guy she's ever met seems to find a reason to call/text/message her when they find out. Whats with that? How do they just know?

Is there some giant computer somewhere out there keeping track of all this info that I don't know about? Sending it out in mass emails to every guy I've ever known EVER? Seriously, how is this possible?

It doesn't matter that I haven't seen you (let alone said so much as three words to you) in two full, three hundred and sixty-five day years, you still manage to put "we should go to dinner, you know, something more personal" in the same sentence as "Hi! Beautiful day! What you been up too these past couple months/years?".

Uh - I'm sorry, who are you again? And, why are you asking me out?

Didn't we do this already? Weren't you 1) not interested in 2) "just friends" with 3) rejected by me the last time we talked? Has anything really changed since then? Are you thinking that after years "just having fun" you're now over it and, knowing that I'm good girlfriend material, want to settle down and have me take care of you? Or is it because you're thinking two years might have been enough time for me to "forget" why I didn't like you in the first place and we can start over? Or, are you doing that ego thing where you check in with me just to see if you could still "get that" if you really wanted to? Because seriously, don't waste your time.

Not going to happen my friend.

Been there, done that.

I haven't been waiting for you. I haven't even been thinking about you. And you're not on any reserve list of mine.

I've moved on. That's what we do, and by "we" I mean us girls. Yes we might hold on longer than we need too, yes we might get a bit crazy when you dump us, and yes we might be mopy for a while after it, but it's a process. We're going through the motions. It doesn't matter how much or how bad we loved or crushed on you, once enough time passes, we chalk it up to another lesson learned and move the f**k on.

So get over me, do the same, and save me that awkward call/text/message of rejection, again. Thanks.

Moving in Slow Motion...

So, since I last wrote - which I realize was a while ago, and for that, sincerely apologize - Smooth and I have gone on 2 more dates (neither at his place, since I still feel its a bit too soon for that), had our first kiss/made-out, and had a talk about where this is going, well, sorta.

Here's the update:

Date 3 was at his friend's birthday party, aka his inner circle. It went well I think, though I can't say I really got a chance to talk to anyone what with being a little distracted - ok a lot distracted - by Smooth and his very charming, very bright smile and perfectly fitted figure framing sweater (sigh). See, we were kind of in our own little bubble that night, a flirt bubble. Not in an annoying way or anything, it's not like we were attached at the hip the whole night (that would have been rude rude)… only like 90% of it. Ok, so we pretty much only separated for bathroom breaks and a very strange (and slightly awkward) old school dance-off between him and some girl - yes I'm serious, no, he did not win. But in my defense it was (technically) our a date, so lots of flirting/ laughing/closeness in general is kind of the point.

The kiss came at the end of the night. No details on that (sorry), but trust me when I say it was nice.

Anyway, we had a great time that night. I got to see him be himself around the people he's most comfortable with, and I liked what I saw. Best date yet I'd say.

Date 4 was pretty great too, much cooler vibe, and definitely our most serious one yet. Well, for me at least. We went to a fundraising event at this small bar, the kind of place that is dark and cozy and good for getting to know someone. Which is exactly what we did, not like that, cheeky little fu**ers, the old fashion way: we talked. Talked about a lot of things, personal things … things that I don't usually open up about so early on with someone I'm so unfamiliar with.

And that's where I start questioning things. Nothing here is actually familiar, I mean I've only hung out with him 4 times, I really don't know the guy. But for some reason it feels familiar, he feels familiar. And while a part of me is sensible enough to know that that's a good thing, but it's also what makes me so nervous about all this in the first place.

Why is this so easy? Isn't it supposed to take you half the time you were in a relationship to get over it? It's been 8 weeks, shouldn't I be a mess right now? I kind of feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop or something…

The good think is that I think he senses that on some level, which is why he's being so cool about taking it easy. Yes he's been single for a while, but he hasn't hung around all this time only to end up as my rebound (he told me that). Being that I just got out of a relationship, jumping into anything too soon will only screw things up. And neither of us really wants that. So for right now, we're just taking it slow.

No labels, no pressure, just time.