This past thanksgiving weekend was, well, eventful for one. Aside from all the great food (still munching on hot turkey sandwiches with peas and cranberries), A LOT took place:
First, Smooth and I broke up.
Yup, Sunday morning. After a very long, very awkward night of arguing and then sleeping in different rooms at his, we called it quits. Sunday's silent drive home was the hardest most saddest thing I have ever experienced ... aside from the whole 26 hours that officially made up our break-up. But then we got back together. (Yay for silver linings!)
The whole thing was stupid really. I asked Smooth to accommodate some, what I considered to be, minor concerns of mine in regards to the way he drove with me in the car and how much time he spent fiddling with his phone (or rather, how little time he dedicated to a digitally-free "us"), and he refused. What started the argument was that I had already voiced these concerns a couple times previously and expressed to him that I was tired of being ignored. I also, ever so kindly, reminded him that I wasn't asking for anything that I hadn't already done for him. (And when I say "ever so kindly", I mean screaming with tears running down my face). He seemed to have mistook this as an attack. Totally wasn't. But, I can kinda see how he might have thought that, I guess.
All kidding aside though, I know that I'm making this sound very black and white, but that's because it was. I didn't have any judgments when he asked me to change certain, apparently "annoying" habits of mine for him, yet he couldn't seem to do the same. He wasn't compromising, but he expected me too. Not fair.
Eventually he realized that. But only after the he got to settle down and re-think the the whole ordeal. I knew I wasn't being crazy (definitely not one of those moments when you're so far into a relationship that you can't tell if you're arguments are rational or not?), I knew this was about the fundamentals of our relationship, the quid pro quo part of "making it work". And he did too, he just didn't want to admit it.
Actually, now that I think of it, I think that what he didn't want to admit (to himself more than anything) is that I challenge him. Maybe I'm the first to do so. Maybe I'm the first girlfriend he's had to answer to, or really even cared too for that matter, and maybe that's what he's having trouble adjusting to. (Hmm.)
Regardless, in the end he did, and his apology was pretty much everything that I was feeling and had to argue word for word.
Needless to say, we made up that night. A few times over.
....
Second, I took up pole dancing. Sorry, pole fitness.
This is probably the single most best thing I've ever done for my self esteem like, ever. Seriously, I recommend this to every woman alive. I know that sounds a little nuts, but I do. And weight, or height or whatever hang-ups you may have about yourself don't matter, because it's all relative, any girl can do this. There is just something about that pole that changes you. (More on this coming, promise, I've only had one class...)
....
And lastly, thanks to my dear friend, I've decided to get my nipple pierced. I just feel like I need a drastic change, something that makes me feel sexy... hot. Plus, I think it will be the perfect accessory for my new dance hobby. (More on the effects of this once I actually get it done.)
... Thoughts?
