Life Between the Sheets

Tough Love...

2011-08-11T22:55:00.000-04:00

Ok. So I was texting my girlfriend recently, catching up and talking about how each others relationships are going, when she asked me this:

Her: How's your sex life?
Me: Great. You?
Her: (nothing)
Me: Hello?
Her: (longer pause) Its good.
Me: …it is?
Her: Well, it's not great for me… and I know it's not good for *Joey (not real name, obvi)
Me: … ok, so what makes this good?
Her: I don't know… I just can't get turned on anymore.

Ok, so before all you "good sex is everything" people go thinking that this is about a relationship needing to be over, let me just be clear that this situation isn't due to any lack of sex. They are in love, they are happy, and they want to be together… at most we have a case of "its getting old" sex on our hands here.

Yes it's true that these are dangerous waters since relationships can and often do fall apart around bad/unsatisfying/boring/irregular sex no matter how well everything else is going, BUT, it's also true that they can be saved before things have to get to that point. I think the real issue here is how hard they are willing to work at it. (listen up, hun)

If I'm honest, I kind of understand where she's coming from. I mean, at one point, after those early-in-the-relationship butterflies flew off, getting off (for me) wasn't as easy as it used to be anymore. Just talking to him, hearing his voice, or kissing his mouth didn't have me salivating anymore, in my mouth or anywhere else for that matter. Not because my feelings had changed - if anything they were even stronger - but because sex wise, things had to be switched up. New tricks were needed. In the early days, anticipation is half the battle/orgasm, wtv. Just the thought of a kiss, or touch, or more is foreplay enough. After a while, once that particular touch has warn off (…you know, once you realize that's his only "touch" and not to mention, only "code" for sexy time), that changes.

Sucks to hear, but its true.

Love and sex aren't things that "just happen". They start, and then they need to be maintained. You can't just go on doing like you've been doing, because unfortunately - and perhaps it's natures way of telling us to go after what we want in life - we get used to repetitive things, we get bored. Not of the person, just of the routine.

That's why it's so important to treat your sex life like, like.... your cell phone. You have one, you cherish it, you're miserable without it. And as much as you love the damn thing, the truth is, at some point, you want a new one. So you change the ringer, flip the wallpaper, make it feel new again. Get it?

Sex isn't "good" if you know neither one of you is really enjoying it. It's not "good", just because you're having it. You want to want sex. You want to have to have sex. And the only way to do that is to switch it up.

Talk about it. Do all those things you think about but are too scared to say out loud to someone. Find out what each others' sexual code is and tap into it (omg I'm watching wayyyyyy to much Ice T & Coco, this can't be healthy). Seriously though, everyone has at least one. Fantasies, fetishes, something that makes them freak (in a good way). Learn what that is for your partner (your very serious partner, other wise things could just get embarrassing), and make a promise to become an expert at it. For me, it took going to a sex shop with Smooth (something I had never done with a boyfriend before) to get me talking about my "deep downs" and "dirty little secrets", but it got the conversation started. One little field trip opened me up to so much…

So, to my dear friend, if your reading this - which you are, because I've called you to let you know I've posted - don't worry, this problem you are having can be fixed, and very easily at that. The only question is, are you willing to be open enough to solve it? Making love is nice and all, but a good f*ck is what you (both) need right now. If your not already curling each others' toes, and can't find the courage to at least open up and find out what it is that might do that for each other either, then you just might find that love isn't enough after all.

Good luck, x

2011-06-30T21:59:00.002-04:00

LOVE THIS.

Love Will Set You Clean...

2011-06-30T17:32:00.002-04:00

Never in a million years did I think I would learn something from Ice T and his G.I. Joe of a wife, Coco, but alas I did - okay so maybe I wouldn't really call it "learning something", more like recognizing the validity and depth of a point that is most often overlooked, but still, very eye opening nonetheless, I'll give 'em that.

I was watching their new reality show and they were talking about how Coco (which apparently is her real name, shocking) would come over and clean his house in the early days of their relationship even though she wasn't living there. Ice was saying something about how strange he thought that was, and she was saying it was her way of showing she cared, because she has a cleaning OCD or something. And then I thought, hmm, is it weird that what she just said makes a lot of sense to me? Am I crazy, or did she just make a thought provoking, semi-intelligent point here? And then hit me, she's totally on point here.

Aside from being told (or it being expected) that our place is in the home, and our job is to look after a man (big no no), if there is one thing that a man should know about a woman, its this: WHEN A WOMAN TAKES CARE OF A MAN, COOKS HIS DINNERS AND CLEANS HIS HOME, ITS BECAUSE IN HER EYES, HE'S EARNED IT, AND BECAUSE SHE'S DECIDED SHE ACTUALLY CARES (DEEPLY) FOR HIM.

It's true. A lot of people (especially guys) take it for granted all the time, but the fact is, it's not standard practice in a relation between man and woman, it doesn't "just happen" at a certain point in every relationship, or because it's deeply ingrained in our genes. No. It's a privilege. And you only get to experience it when we've come to the decision (on our own) that we want to take care of you because you're worth taking care of.

Don't believe me boys? Think about it. What women in your life have cleaned up after you - other than your mom and serious girlfriends? Friends? Cousins? …what about sisters? (maybe, if it was her house you were trashing). I know the girls hear me on this, because we've all been on both sides of it.

For instance, when I think about my last relationship with my ex and how I was with him and compare it to how I am with Smooth now, there just is no comparison. I couldn't bring myself to cook in his kitchen let alone clean any part of his place. There seriously wasn't anything he could do or say, to get me to help with any of it. In fact, to avoid it all, I kind of ~~expected~~ let him wait on me since I was his "guest" (ya, I pulled that card, many times over). The state of place was disgusting, and deep down yes, it bothered me, but was I actually going to do anything about it? Not a chance, because that required me touching stuff I didn't want to. If cleaning is a sign about how you truly feel about someone, then I guess our fate was pretty obvious.

With Smooth, it's completely the opposite. I'm almost obsessed. I clean all the time. (And I'm so not a cleaner). I want to make sure he's got a clean house, a full belly, and that he's sleeping well. I don't care if I have to give it my whole day.

When we don't care about a relationship (and I mean that "forever" kind of care), then we don't care to bring that side of us out (you know, that nurturing mothering side). But when we do, well, it comes out in full force. Which, if you think about it, might be the reason for why so many of us have a bit of an issues with the whole "mom factor". When we really feel for a guy, and open ourselves up to looking after him and ensuring his well-being (essentially taking on a mothering role), it becomes very difficult to let real mom come in and take care of him too, especially when its in our own home. It all becomes very territorial. We've made him our number 1 (very often even before us), and to not be his number 1 (aka number 2 to mom) can be a very hard pill to swallow... But I think think I'll save that thought for another post.

Where was I? Oh yes, real love = his personal house maid. Terrible way to put it, I know, but it's kind of the truth. I mean think about it, how many times have you heard a friend or someone on tv talk lovingly about their man talking about wanting to have dinner ready for when he comes homes, or doing his laundry, even Samantha spent 2 hours making all that cleverly placed sushi for Smith to come home to, it's what we do…for the right guy.

This isn't to say that all this is done without complaints of course, I mean, telling him to rinse out the tuna can before letting in sit in the sink for how ever many hours definitely gets old at some point, but its the thought that counts. And as long as we feel that the work and love is appreciated and returned in other ways, then really its not that big of a deal.

... Then again, we already knew that it would be, I mean, that's the reason why we've offered you this part of us in the first place, right?

New Beginnings...

2011-06-22T17:53:00.000-04:00

Hey y'all, I'm back.

I know, I know, its been forever. I got lazy. Actually that's a lie, the problem is that I got really busy, only it was outside of here. My life in recent months has been full of changes, good ones mostly, but big ones too, so I haven't really been able to find the time to get on here and write. But, now that things have a settled a bit and I've received my 500th text/email/FB message etc about when the hell am I going to get back on here, I figured its about time. Also, I have time now, because I quit my shitty job (hooray!). So yeah, here I am…staring at this screen.

I think the worst part about blogging is that as soon as you stop, or fall out of it for a while, getting back on that horse and writing that first full length blog seems so that much more daunting. What to write about, that's hard. I mean I have all these topics and notes written on post-its all over my bedroom, but finding inspiration, staying in the moment of the topic, that's hard. It's like I have to re-learn how to blog. It's stressful.

…I guess I'll just start from the beginning, since that's probably the easiest way. But bear with me, my first few posts back might be a bit shaky. I need to get my groove back so to speak.

I should probably just recap the last couple months (very briefly!) since the last thing you all know about is that Smooth and I were in a tricky spot of our relationship, not communicating very well at all. Well that's definitely changed. We are doing better than ever.

Communication is aced. Is it always happy and wonderful? No. But we're really good at talking and listening now, so whenever something is wrong, we put it out there and deal with it. He listens, I listen, he has learned to say what he means and mean what he says, and I've learned to say sorry and admit when I'm wrong (which has never been something I "do" per say). I think those were our biggest challenges in terms of communication, so I'm really glad that they've been smoothed out. (pardon the pun.)

We also celebrated our 1st year anniversary, it was great. Well, as great as it could be given that I had come down with the flu literally the morning of, and had to be propped up on my chair during dinner with a few hundred spare napkins close by to wipe off the profuse amount of sweat exiting from just about every part of my body (so sexy, I know). But it was wonderful, really. And it's pretty much been a dream since that night. There is something about that one year mark that's magical. Like, it's a bitch to get to, but once there, it's as if everything just kind of figures itself out. Suddenly, things start clicking and the relationship becomes this well oiled machine again, like it was in those first few months of dating, only more naturally. Fascinating.

Also, Smooth quit music. For good. It shocked me, I didn't really believe it, but I'm not complaining. No more cool industry parties or award shows, but that's nothing compared to the piece of mind he now has and the peacefulness that's brought to the relationship. Its absolutely incredible, like night and day. His focus is on us now, were not rushing home to write lyrics, or stressing about video deadlines…all is calm and cool, our time is our own. Which is amazing, and perfect timing, because...

I'm almost moved in. It's a slow process (snails pace practically), but one that is finally starting to happen. So that's good. Its meant a lot more time together, and a lot more time to work on us. And its really paid off too. Especially in the bedroom. Our sex life is amazing. It was getting to be a little bit too, how can I put this nicely? … routine? So we've amped it up a bit, and dedicated ourselves to making it fantastic - which, funny enough, I didn't really realize I wasn't doing until I made myself do it. Honestly, I didn't realize this, but sex doesn't just "happen". I mean it does, but not forever. Like, not even for a year. At some point you actual have to nurture it like every other part of a relationship. I knew that, heard it… but now I "get" it. And it's awesome. (ps. I will definitely be doing some sexier posts from this point on, now that I'm really starting to explore the wonderful world of "Sex" and all it has to offer, I'll be wanting to talk about it a lot more, and not just literally, I want to get into that good ol' sex therapy talk. So, fun times ahead.)

...

I think that pretty much covers the basics for now. Of course there are other things that I want to share with you, but their deserving of their own posts so I'm saving them. Plus it will keep you coming back.

More details later (like tomorrow). Promise.

xox

Bob Marley on How to Love a Woman...

2011-05-19T11:32:00.001-04:00

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”
- Bob Marley

(via 5oh7 blog)

2011-03-12T23:19:00.001-05:00

Well, Smooth and I have officially reached the "comfortable" stage in our relationship.

And by that I don't mean farting or chewing with our mouths open - that's hardly something to complain about if you ask me. What I'm talking about is that point where everything/anything that the other person says isn't SO important anymore.

For example, this morning. I woke up in knots. (Don't know what went on while I was sleeping, but something had me positioned funny.) My back was locked. Even after stretching on my own, twisting and bending and struggling through the 4 yoga poses I actually know, I still couldn't loosen up. I was hurting, and I needed help.

Now, let me explain to you what would have happened were this oh I dunno, say, 4 months ago. Smooth would have been up and google-ing all kinds of chiropractic procedures and stretches that he could perform on me before I even finished saying "my back hurts". He would be catering to me instantly, saying "babe let me get this for you" and "babe let me do that for you". He would be sitting with me, rubbing me, kissing me, telling me how much he loves me and offering me massages four times a day. And I'm not exaggerating. This is how he is, was. Overly protective and sensitive about anything that had to do with me. It's one of the things that made me fall in love with him in the first place... after having to get used to that kind of attention of course (which really isn't that hard).

So, now let me tell you what actually happened this morning. Smooth only got up and out of bed about 15 minutes after I expressed my pain and went straight to ...the washroom. He didn't stop by the living room to check on or attend to my calls of distress (...ok more like moans of frustration, but still). He didn't even come by to kiss me on the forehead like he normally does when we wake up in the morning - yup, something has definitely changed.

When he was out, he still didn't come find me. Instead he went straight to the living room - from where I had since moved to the bedroom to hurl myself onto the bed backwards, head to floor in hopes of somehow stretching out my spine, or something - not even noticing I was no longer there. He turned on sportscenter. and checked his emails. (I'm moaning from the other room louder now, not because I'm hurting more, but because now I'm starting to get pissed off.)

Still, nothing. For like 20 minutes.

Finally he come finds me. I'm sprawled out, head on the floor, feet by my pillows, twisted into the strangest shape... and he begins to read me a series of tweets tweeted back and forth between Nikki Minage and Kloe Kardashian saying how funny they are.

That's it. That's all.

He's back on the couch. Apparently, I'm invisible. My pain and discomfort no longer mean anything to him.

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, maybe. But I'm also being honest. We are officially "comfortable", and I hate it. I hate that my mere presence no longer commands his attention. That just looking at me doesn't make him smile for no reason anymore. That other things find room in his head despite my being there.

I dread this point. It scares me. Mainly because this is where my last relationship ended. Only, I was him.

...then again, I'm probably just overreacting. Every couple has bad days.

Food For Thought...

2011-03-02T22:31:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, it really is just that simple.

Unsolved Mysteries...

2011-02-20T19:51:00.051-05:00

WHAT is up with guys calling/texting/emailing 2...3... even 4 years after the fact? I mean seriously, 4 years? Really? It was summer, I was out of town, we met in a bar ... are you seriously telling me that you didn't know that was a one-off? That you actually thought something serious was going to come of it?

I just wanted to get some. That's all.

We live in different cities for crying out loud, different countries even. Do we really need to go over the rules pertaining to different area codes?

(...sorry.)

Dear Diary...

2011-02-04T15:53:00.002-05:00

Soooo, not that I'm worried or anything, but I'm a little worried about moving in with Smooth.

I keep reading that it's basically relationship suicide to move in with a guy before you're married... and, while Smooth and I are totally sold on each other, we're not really thinking about marriage anytime soon.

And our mini trial (my sis who I currently live with is away visiting my mom so I've pretty much been staying at his place everyday since she left) has proven to be ...well, challenging, to say the least. We've had several fights already - small, nothing we haven't been able to overcome before bed - but arguments nonetheless. Also, I just watched my best friend get dumped by her boyfriend of 4 years over exactly this (we're talking future husband and father of her kids level here).

So now I'm just starting to freak out.

I mean I love this guy. A lot. We're strong and happy and a good team, and I know that moving in is what I want ...but not if it's going to trigger our demise.

This is terrifying! I'm an easy going kind of person, I fly by the seat of my pants, cross bridges when I come to them; I'm an Aquarius through and through, stressing about the end before I've even started is not what I do!

Help?

Breakup Rules...

2011-02-02T20:49:00.008-05:00

Uhhhhhh ok - this post is kinda out of the blue yes, but I just read Elaina's rather confused and frustrated post about breakups over at Life is a Great Big Canvas and just had to give my take on things (also, she asked me to - and it's not like I've ever been known to turn down giving my thoughts on someone else's problems...) So, Elaina, here are my (official) rules on how to manage a breakup:

Rule #1:

There is only one rule: Complete cut-off.

It doesn't matter what your history with him is, the only way to move on post breakup is to cut all contact. Don't talk to him, don't see him, don't hangout in places he does, or with people he knows. Get rid of him on FB, email, Skype, even your phone (thats BBM and your contact list). Not cutting him off is like quitting smoking and not taking that pack of cigarettes out of your car, and/or purse and/or breast pocket. If they are around, you will be tempted. To smoke, to hold, to smell... to just sit there and stare at, for hours. Way too close.

You see the thing with breakups is that they usually happen for a reason. If you're talking about, considering, or enduring a breakup, it's most likely because deep down you know this person isn't for you. Which means that although it's a tough decision, it's the right one, and you need to just take comfort in that and move on.

Now of course the feelings don't go away over night, and of course it's going to be hard to break those habits that you've formed over the 3 years/months/days you were with him (ie: talking/texting everyday, eating together, sleeping together etc...) BUT, it's only going to be harder to rid yourself of all that if he's still just a click or call away.

Who knows if what they say about taking half the time you were together to get over the breakup is true or not (everyone is different), but what's most important is that you do take time. Not to be alone period, but at least alone from him.

Also, guys and girls are not friends, especially not after a breakup. So whatever the circumstances, the history (wtv), things won't be "easier" if you "remain friends", or "still talk", or have "casual sex" every once in a while.

PUH-LEASE. (rolls eyes)

The truth is, you and him were never "just friends" otherwise you would never have had sex. Sex, or at least a sexual attraction, was the catalyst for this "friendship", don't fool yourself by telling you otherwise.

You broke up, it was the right thing to do, now move on. You'll be surprised at how quick your heart heals if you just focus on other things (mainly you and what makes you smile). Out of sight out of mind is not just a saying, it's motto to live by (at least when it comes to breakups that is).

Trust me, It's way too easy to see and hear things you don't want to see or hear when you keep contact with your ex, so if you don't want drama, don't go looking for it. But if you do, well, that's a different story all together now isn't it?

Tweet Me...

2011-02-02T15:20:00.000-05:00

@MorganBTWS is now officially on Twitter. Yup that's right, I've jumped on the band wagon.

So, if you're on Twitter and you'd to hear more of my little musings on sex, love and dating in 140 characters or less, follow me and we'll tweet to each other! (Or, is it twit?) Whatever, we'll have fun!

See you there! xox

formspring.me

2011-02-02T13:08:00.002-05:00

Want a second opinion? Need me to play devil's advocate? Free advice, take it or leave it, it's on you.

Ask me anything here: http://formspring.me/MorganBTWS

Words of Wisdom...

2011-01-23T09:30:00.000-05:00

This song is beautiful. I just listened the lyrics for the first time this week, I mean really listened to it, and I'm floored. So beautiful and so much truth! ... I know, I know, I sound like a nerd right now, but I really don't care because this song is worth posting. If you're on the edge right now listen to this, I'm convinced it will help you...

Mockingbird

Here we stand
somewhere in between this moment and the end
will we bend?
or will we open up and take this whole thing in?
everybody else is smiling and their smiles dont fade
and you dont even wonder why you just dont think that way

Maybe you and me got lost somewhere, we can't move
on we can't stay here
well maybe we've just had enough,
well maybe we ain't meant for this love
you and me tried everything
but still that mocking bird wont sing
well man this life seems hard enough
well maybe we ain't meant for this love
Take my hand
and I will lead you through the broken promise land
yes I can, ah yes I can
I can be there when you need it,
I'll give it all till you can't feel it anymore
I don't wanna love you now, if you'll just leave someday
I don't wanna turn around, if you'll just walk away

Maybe you and me got lost somewhere, we can't move
on we can't stay here

Well maybe we've just had enough,
well maybe we ain't meant for this love
you and me tried everything
but still that mocking bird wont sing
well man this life seems hard enough
well maybe we ain't meant for this love

maybe we aint meant for this love
maybe we aint meant for this love

2011-01-08T17:52:00.001-05:00

Why don't you love me?... when I make me so damn easy to love?

-Beyonce

Unsolved Mysteries....

2011-01-08T09:42:00.006-05:00

Why do we wait around extra long pretending to study, or work or be busy just in case he calls?

I mean, I know why (because we like him, duh), but why do we not know better than to put ourselves through this?!

I remember hanging around the university library with my nose buried in books I didn't need to study, refreshing my FB page every 30 seconds, and texting people I hadn't seen in a while but really didn't care to catch up with that much anyway all because I was bored out of mind waiting for my phone to buzz with that "what are you up to?" text. I remember thinking "well, if he does message me, it's better that I'm here in town just minutes away from where he is rather than at home having to make the trip back". And the worst part is I don't remember him ever texting!!! Maybe 1 out of 10 times would I hear from him... and I still don't think we ended up seeing each other!

Ugghhh! If I only had a dollar for every hour wasted... I could have taken myself out for a nice dinner and saved myself the disappointment!

Why do we do this?! (... you guys do do this too, right?) It's so lame! So lame, that it is now forever logged in my brain as a lesson to teach my future daughter (if I have one): Do not try to fit into his schedule, he's got to fit into your's; a man who works on your time is a man worth fitting in.

... and if I have a boy, I'll teach him to never, ever, do this to a girl, EVER.

Hooray! ...

2011-01-05T12:02:00.008-05:00

I got my first Award! I'm so proud of it! It's The Stylish Blogger Award and I was awarded it by Melan over at London Girl Up North (big thanks!). Anyway, it not a hugely popular award, but it's my first (of many hopefully) so it's HUGE in my books! As is common with these things, it's now my duty to pass the award on to some of my favorite daily reads, so here they are:

1. DC Dating Adventures

2. Tales from The Tower

3. The Loves and Life of a London Girl

4. The Single Girl's Journal

And, 8 random facts about myself:

Tried out for the for 2000 Summer Olympics when I was 15 (as a swimmer), but chickened out and swam miserably in both my events. But I still to this day only dry myself off with my official Olympic Trials 2000 towel.
I love vegetables. Like, LOVE them. Brussle sprouts, broccoli, onions, olives, squash... you name it, I love it. Fruits? Not so much.
I sometimes get annoyed when people compliment me on my green eyes. (What?! I said sometimes...
I recently discovered I was part French. Which makes a lot of sense since I've always had this overwhelming feeling of being at home when in Paris.
I can fold my tongue into not 1, not 2, but 3 different patterns/shapes (whatever you wanna call it).
In another life I would be a surfer, chasing waves all over the world and visiting amazing beaches.
I want to move to Spain.
I can't make chocolate chip cookies to save my life.

New Year, New Look...

2011-01-05T11:57:00.003-05:00

Like it? I thought it could use a change. It's a sign of what is to come. Also, I'm making a lot of changes to this little 'ol site of mine... stay tuned ;)

4 Types to Avoid...

2011-01-03T18:28:00.009-05:00

Ok so it's about time I do a post that isn't about me or what I think about a friend's situation (I know, I know, how big of me). Seriously though, listen.

Every time I talk to single girls, all I hear about are the “losers” they have to put up with while trudging through the swamp that is the wonderful world of dating. From the physical to the emotional, its a mess (I know), but you can control your experiences to a certain a degree you know, it's not like there aren't any warnings along the way.

It seems that the real key to having a successful dating life/experience (and I'm not trying to say that I did, or that I knew how to from the beginning) is about being open-minded yes, but also, and perhaps more importantly, being attuned to the other person’s signals, both positive and negative alike. Swear to god, every guy you date let’s you know exactly what kind of guy he is - and what kind of relationship you’ll be dealing with should you go for him - in some way or another, very early on. Like, we’re talking date one.

So what I’ve done here to help you is put together a list of 4 guy’s that you don’t want to date. Four guys that are out there, that have issues (aside from being stupid, drunk or gay) bigger than Everest and that you couldn’t fix even if you actually were Little Miss Perfect. If you can learn to spot any or all of these characteristics in a man, and remember to run like hell once you do, your dating experiences will improve in no time. (Unless of course you’re the freak)

1. The critical, superficial, judgmental, sarcastic type.

Oh joy. Not. This guy hides his genuine asshole-ness under the guise of a “dry sense of humor”. Please. He’s the type that is going to piss you off more than you ever realized was possible. He’s the guy who’s an ass to the waiter, and makes crude comments about the special-ed kids. He might come off funny at first, but when he starts telling you that that lipstick color doesn’t really flatter your chubby cheeks, or that your sister might want to see someone about getting her teeth fixed if she really plans on marrying someday, it’s not going to be so funny. This guy is an class A jerk, get up and leave before you have to start apologizing to your loved ones (or worse, boss) for having brought him here.

2. The momma’s/bitch boy type.

I hate this guy. Mainly because I like a man who looks like he could throw me around and teach me a lesson or two... but I suppose that’s all relative. This guy is just annoying. He’s a pussy. He’s the type of guy who doesn’t know how to do anything (maybe because he’s never had to), and if he does, does it so poorly that you’re always going to feel like you could have done it better. Nothing more frustrating. This guy either has his mom coming by weekly with groceries/rent money/laundry, or makes you mixtapes of his favorite love songs and crochets you mittens. You’re a woman, you need a man. Granted you’ll probably have the most romantic first date of you’re life with him (because his female influences have been strong), but at some point he’s going to ask you to heat up his bottle and mash his vegetables. Soft is never a good thing. Just keep moving.

3. The bromancer (aka. Vincent Chase Syndrome)

Listen close: a guy who is "tight" with his "boys", who's every story consists of the same 5 characters, who's version of anything or any "fun" time he's ever had has involved those boy or who wants to include them (with or without you girlfriends) in everything you do, is not boyfriend material. Trust me, he’s just not there yet. He needs his “boys” around because he needs their validation and really, they might as well be his mother. Not only can’t this guy make decisions for himself, he can barely think for himself. He’s not smart/confident/man enough to be a leader, so he follows. So unless what you’re really looking for is to adopt a small army of children, forget this boy completely (“boy” being the operative word here), because there isn’t anything but immaturity down this road.

4. The sex maniac.

This guy is scary. Not boo scary, but rather what the f**ck kinda place did this freak grow up in scary. He manages to squeeze sex into every conversation topic, takes you to the spa (or something else that requires minimal clothing) on your first date, and probably does something really creepy like leer or lick his lips when he talks to you (ugh, shiver). Now, not many of you would get caught dead with a weirdo like this because really that’s just gross, but some of you lonely impatient ones just might try him as a reason to get out of the house for a bit (lord knows I’ve done it). Don’t. Wait. Skip a turn. This guy is a perv, he’s beyond thinking with his penis and more like hand in his pants tugging steadily under the table. If for no other reason than because a man this hung up on sex can’t possibly take take himself out of his twisted pleasures long enough to make sure you’re enjoying it, I beg you to leave this one alone. You will forever be unsatisfied, in every way, with this guy. (Also just eww... yucky.)

Note to self (and by self I mean you): PRINT AND MEMORIZE.

On Romance...

2010-12-31T15:19:00.003-05:00

"If I eat a huge meal and I can get the girl to rub my belly, I think that's about as romantic as I can think of."

- Ryan Gosling

(Love that.)

Happy Holidays...

2010-12-26T16:50:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you!

I genuinely hope that you're happily surrounded by love, laughter, and close friends and family this year, having safe celebrations and making new memories. All the best to all of you, in life as well as in love!

Cheers!

Our Second Language...

2010-12-23T08:14:00.004-05:00

I found this tucked away on my Facebook page last night, must have posted it about 2 or 3 years ago (...have I really had it for that long? sheesh). I figured there was place for it here. Enjoy.

9 Words Women Use (and what they really mean):

"Fine" - This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

"5 Minutes" - If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

"Nothing" - This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

"Go Ahead" - This is a dare, not permission. Whatever it is, Don't Do It.

"Loud Sigh" - This isn't actually a word, but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

"That's OK" - This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

"Thanks" - A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.

"Whatever" - Is a woman's way of saying ***** YOU!

"Don't worry about it, I got it" - Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

Blue Christmas....

2010-12-21T23:14:00.008-05:00

Well, I'm still working on a cheery Holiday post for all of you. But it isn't done yet, so in the meantime I have a holiday themed downer instead. (I know I know, opposite of festive... sorry.)

I've come to the conclusion that the Holidays are the best time to get dumped. In light of two of my dear friends recently getting news that they'll be spending Christmas solo, I've been forced (as the friend who gives advice) to look at the bright side of things. The funny thing is, I've actually come to believe my own words. Think I'm crazy? Hear me out:

1. If there is one good time to be alone, it's when you're surrounded by friends and family. Being alone alone sucks. Being alone during a time where you get extra love from those closest to you, doesn't. They've flown in, driven down, maybe even taken a little extra time off work to be with you. Love that. Live that. At the very least it will help take your mind off things, and at the very most, you'll realize how lovable you really are.

2. If there is one time to be single, it's under the mistletoe. Okay okay, maybe that's a bit too soon. But what I'm saying is, why not start the new year independent and having fun? That saying about "how you spend new year's eve is how you'll spend the rest of the year" is a load of crap. You'll spend the year the way you decide to, make the most of it and the most will come back to you.

3. Winter means hibernation. Hibernation means quiet. Sometimes the quiet and staying in of the season allows for things like self reflection and improvement. Take some time to get to know you this holiday season. Think about what went wrong, think about what you need. Take some time off, mentally, and you might find that whatever happened, happened for a reason.

... See? Not so crazy hunh?

New Nest....

2010-12-18T13:03:00.006-05:00

Well, Smooth officially bought his condo.

When he get's his key this Thursday were going to have a sleep over in his empty living room to christen it. Just us, two sleeping bags and a mini Christmas tree. (I do realize that some of you are gagging right now, and I am choosing to ignore you.) We've already started talking about paint colors and layouts. He's leaning towards all white everything - obvi a man who doesn't do too much cooking and cleaning - I'm thinking stone colors. I'll let you know who wins.

Haven't figured out when I'll be moving in yet, but the idea of getting to wake up next to him and having him come home to me has me really excited. We definitely still have some kinks to work out, relationship wise, which need to be ironed out before our living space becomes limited, but all in all, I can't wait.

And I kind of can't believe this is really happening either. Not that I never saw this happening, or that I necessarily assumed it would either, I just mean I'm kind of surprised that I'm really making such a big decision right now. At 25. This is no joke. This is a step that leads in a very significant and unmistakable direction, and it means that somewhere in the back of my head I've made a rather huge choice. It means I've taken a stand on long term, Smooth isn't just a "boyfriend" I guess...

Holy shit that's scary to think about, why am I even going there? I don't need to, I'm young... shouldn't need to think about this for at least another 5 years!

I've got to go to bed... get my beauty sleep... think of more pressing and immediate concerns... like where am I going to find boxing-day shopping money to spend?!

This is why I don't think long term, everything is a whole lot more digestible when you think right here, right now.

Small bites Morgan, small (excited) little bites...

A Classic...

2010-12-09T23:26:00.003-05:00

“Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
-Wuthering Heights

...so fricking romantic.

The Big Question...

2010-11-30T22:29:00.005-05:00

Smooth asked me to move in with him.

(Yup, you read that right.)

Its been about 8 months officially, 10 if you count the first date.

... I said yes.

Not now, I have some stuff I have to sort out first (money/work/family kinda stuff) ... but eventually, in a few months or so. And I'm really excited about it. I mean, this feels good. It feels right. I genuinely love this guy (who would have thought,originally) and the thought of falling asleep and waking up next to him every morning makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Is this crazy? Should I be worried that this is too fast? Is there a general rule that I should be aware about in regards to major relationship steps like this? I know they say the first year is the hardest, but ever since we had our huge fight and got everything off our chests, and I mean e-ver-y-thing (details to follow, promise), things have been pretty darn close to perfect.

Which is why I'm not worried. We've covered it all. There are zero secrets between us, a blank slate. So what else do we need?

Food For Thought...

2010-11-16T21:34:00.002-05:00

"And I was satisfied being in love with the lie".
- K. West

...weren't we all.

Food For Thought...

2010-11-16T21:19:00.002-05:00

"But I can be alone without Yoko, but I just have no wish to be. There’s no reason on earth why I should be alone without Yoko. There’s nothing more important than our relationship, nothing. And we dig being together all the time. Both of us could… survive apart but what for? I’m not going to sacrifice love, real love for any whore or any friend or any business, because in the end you’re alone at night and neither of us want to be. And you can’t fill a bed with groupies. It doesn’t work. I don’t want to be a swinger. I’ve been through it all and nothing works better than to have someone you love hold you."

-John Lennon

Thanks...

2010-11-05T20:45:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to take the time to say thank you to all of you who read my little blog on the regular. It really does mean quite a lot to me to know that you take time out of your days to come here and ~~listen to~~ read my ramblings.

I'm not gonna lie, sometimes it gets difficult, and a bit discouraging, to keep thinking of new things to write about, but each time I get an email from you guys with your kind words and awesome comments it cheers me right up again. So...

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

... ok, mushy time over. Let's get back to this shiz.

Attention Whores...

2010-11-04T23:15:00.005-04:00

I was re-reading my last post on that feeling you get in your stomach when you realize that you have someone's full attention and, well, that got me thinking about when the exact opposite occurs, and just what that means for a relationship exactly.

I don't know if this making sense. What I think I'm getting at here is that having your partner's attention is key, if not the key to making a relationship work. Its the kind of thing that we don't really consciously notice or cherish, until we no longer have it. And the scary part is that when that happens, and we finally do realize just how much we like and need it, we'll pretty much do whatever it takes to get it back again. Inside of the relationship, and probably eventually outside of it if that doesn't work.

And that is the point where everything that was, is lost.

When you start pushing against relationship boundaries that you wouldn't otherwise push against just to get a reaction. Like the class bully, any attention is better than none at all.

Scary.

Men Are Like...

2010-11-02T21:15:00.003-04:00

... Snowstorms.


You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.

Memoried Feeling...

2010-10-29T19:41:00.005-04:00

You know that feeling when you're dating someone new where you feel like you can't look them in the eye for fear that they will swallow you alive? Do you ever get that? Like, you're talking to him but kind of looking everywhere except at his eyes because when you do catch a glimpse, and realize for a moment how intently he's staring into yours, you think for a second that he might just see directly into all of those little secret thoughts of just how much you actually like this guy...

yeah, I love that feeling.

New Friend, New Me...

2010-10-27T23:05:00.001-04:00

I have a new friend and she's doing me some good.

Ok so she's not all that new, I have known her for about a year now, but we've really only become close in the last couple months or so. And much like the beginning of a new romantic relationship, ours is very exciting.

While we're very similar on many fronts, sexuality is definitely one that separates us. She's very much the girl I want to be. The girl I know is inside of me but am too shy to let out.

She's sexual... to say the least. She's confident, explorative and unreserved in all the ways a girl wants to be when it comes to sex, yet smart and well-grounded too so she's never careless or tacky or trashy either. Basically, she's good girl with a little bad in her.

And (thankfully) she's rubbing off on me. To both mine and Smooth's delight.

The Big Anouncement...

2010-10-26T13:47:00.004-04:00

@MorganBTWS is now officially on Twitter. Yup that's right, I've jumped on the band wagon. I tried so hard to hard to stay away, but really it's kind of fun and, when you think about it, a great way to stay in touch with all of my readers.

See you there!

Sexy Inventions...

2010-10-16T15:33:00.008-04:00

I have to get my hands on this.
On second thought, I'd love to get my hands on all of the JimmyJane products.
Also, they're really pretty.
(Click here to see what I'm talking about)

The Long Weekend...

2010-10-14T20:28:00.012-04:00

This past thanksgiving weekend was, well, eventful for one. Aside from all the great food (still munching on hot turkey sandwiches with peas and cranberries), A LOT took place:

First, Smooth and I broke up.

Yup, Sunday morning. After a very long, very awkward night of arguing and then sleeping in different rooms at his, we called it quits. Sunday's silent drive home was the hardest most saddest thing I have ever experienced ... aside from the whole 26 hours that officially made up our break-up. But then we got back together. (Yay for silver linings!)

The whole thing was stupid really. I asked Smooth to accommodate some, what I considered to be, minor concerns of mine in regards to the way he drove with me in the car and how much time he spent fiddling with his phone (or rather, how little time he dedicated to a digitally-free "us"), and he refused. What started the argument was that I had already voiced these concerns a couple times previously and expressed to him that I was tired of being ignored. I also, ever so kindly, reminded him that I wasn't asking for anything that I hadn't already done for him. (And when I say "ever so kindly", I mean screaming with tears running down my face). He seemed to have mistook this as an attack. Totally wasn't. But, I can kinda see how he might have thought that, I guess.

All kidding aside though, I know that I'm making this sound very black and white, but that's because it was. I didn't have any judgments when he asked me to change certain, apparently "annoying" habits of mine for him, yet he couldn't seem to do the same. He wasn't compromising, but he expected me too. Not fair.

Eventually he realized that. But only after the he got to settle down and re-think the the whole ordeal. I knew I wasn't being crazy (definitely not one of those moments when you're so far into a relationship that you can't tell if you're arguments are rational or not?), I knew this was about the fundamentals of our relationship, the quid pro quo part of "making it work". And he did too, he just didn't want to admit it.

Actually, now that I think of it, I think that what he didn't want to admit (to himself more than anything) is that I challenge him. Maybe I'm the first to do so. Maybe I'm the first girlfriend he's had to answer to, or really even cared too for that matter, and maybe that's what he's having trouble adjusting to. (Hmm.)

Regardless, in the end he did, and his apology was pretty much everything that I was feeling and had to argue word for word.

Needless to say, we made up that night. A few times over.

....

Second, I took up pole dancing. Sorry, pole fitness.

This is probably the single most best thing I've ever done for my self esteem like, ever. Seriously, I recommend this to every woman alive. I know that sounds a little nuts, but I do. And weight, or height or whatever hang-ups you may have about yourself don't matter, because it's all relative, any girl can do this. There is just something about that pole that changes you. (More on this coming, promise, I've only had one class...)

....

And lastly, thanks to my dear friend, I've decided to get my nipple pierced. I just feel like I need a drastic change, something that makes me feel sexy... hot. Plus, I think it will be the perfect accessory for my new dance hobby. (More on the effects of this once I actually get it done.)

... Thoughts?

Words of Wisdom...

2010-10-06T00:38:00.002-04:00

"One woman's Titanic is another woman's Love Boat"

(Untitled 2)...

2010-10-06T00:33:00.010-04:00

... It's so worth it.

Beyond worth it. Maintenance sucks, and I might have to invest in some sort of numbing creme, but it's so worth it. Like, have trouble walking the next day kind of worth it.

The Ex-Factor...

2010-10-04T20:47:00.009-04:00

I'm intimidated by my boyfriend's ex. Actually, more like his ex-sex life.

Smooth is very attractive. He's also totally open minded and experimental. Hot, but also quite daunting. At least for a "good girl" like me.

See I'm probably not what most people would describe as the "sexual" type. I'm not not into sex, not at all, it's just hard for me to let go and get wild when the lights go off because I'm shy, and painfully self aware. But generally, once the lights are off (and they always are), I'm open to whatever.

But I'm struggling with my confidence with Smooth. He's hot, like very, and I pretty much want to get to it all the time, but it's been especially difficult for me to be completely comfortable with him since I've realized 1) just how much more experienced he is than me and 2) I can't compete with the women of his past. (And I'm not just talking about ex-girlfriends, I'm talking about the one-nighters and fuck buddies; the ones that you (he) don't tend to really give a shit what you do with cuz it's exciting, temporary, and totally detached. Yeah, those girls.)

He's done it all, and I like to think I could... would. But the proof is in the pudding and I can't so much as watch porn with him without getting a bit shy and awkward. And I don't know why that is! If you ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you that I ~~love to watch porn~~ am one of the most easy going and least closed-minded persons they know. But for some reason, when it comes to sex with Smooth, I just ... suck.

(Not suck suck, we have great sex, trust me, I just mean I get shy, stage fright of sorts. And I hate that.)

And my mission to learn and apply isn't exactly moving me forward either. The more I ask him about things he's learned, tried and liked, the less confident I become. Here I am walking around in black lingerie when really I should be contemplating a strip tease and a clit ring.

(not really, but you get the what I mean.)

How am I supposed to bring a new experience to his repertoire when he's done things I didn't even know existed? How the hell am I supposed to be his best sex ever when apparently, I'm a sex retard?!

Seriously, that's really what it comes down to. I know he says things are perfect; me, the sex, the chemistry, but I've gotta feel it in me, gotta figure something out.

On Being Woman...

2010-09-29T21:32:00.008-04:00

“Perhaps my sense of self was too well developed. Perhaps my problem wasn’t loneliness, but only-ness.”

- Bette Davis

(Because every woman could use a little Bette Davis.)

(Untitled) ...

2010-09-27T21:16:00.006-04:00

Ummmmm... I'm pretty sure that my vagina is gone.

What I mean is, I'm pretty sure that it is still attached to that god awful strip of linen that that horrible, horrible little woman just ripped from between my legs.

I think I'm going to cry.

Scratch that, I am crying.

I'm tearing, cowering in the corner of a room called "Begonia", listening to heavily Asian influenced classical music, holding my crotch in utter pain and amazement, trying to remember what it was that I said that made her want to hurt me in this way.

Who does this? Who wants this!?

This is crazy. This is BARE. I feel pubescent, maybe even pre. And I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that.

I don't know if I'm more angry at society for making me feel the pressure of having to compete in this way, or myself for falling for it. All I know is that this is the silliest, most stupid thing I've ever done.... and I will most likely come back in a couple weeks for "maintenance" like she told me too.

There so better be a difference.

The Birthday Weekend...

2010-09-27T20:48:00.007-04:00

I am such a good girlfriend.

(I know I just posted about how terrible of a girlfriend I am, was, but that was last week. This week, I rock.)

Why? Because it was Smooth’s birthday this past Monday, and my present was awesome. I surprised him with a Fred Perry leather duffel and a pair of tickets to a professional football game. And despite the fact that we weren't acknowledging his turning a year older, and that the the whole event left me with acute laryngitis (going on my 5^thday with no voice), it was worth it. Smooth and I have officially re-connected.

You see, with both of us being really busy lately - him with his music and me with work - we haven’t really been able to see too much of each other. Which, as you can imagine, has been just a little bit tough. And even though this might have offered us the opportunity to miss each other more (they say that's good for a relationship), it also meant more arguments, and less sex. Which left us both frustrated, and all the more ready to pick a fight.

So, we really needed this weekend to work ... badly.

We started the weekend with another friend's birthday party - an excuse to go out and get drunk since we weren't actually celebrating his own big day - where he was showered with compliments, repeatedly, by a drunken birthday girl and friends. (Seriously, if I didn't work with her, I might have clocked her one. But, it made him feel good (I could tell), so I smiled and put up with it).

He also met the guy from work there, who had come with one of the other girls, and saw what I had been trying to explain to him all this time. Finally we could move on. We eventually separated from the rest of the group, got trashed, and ended up having our own party for two in a cozy little corner of the club for the rest of the night... after-party at his. (wink wink)

Sunday was the big day. Game day. Stadium full of people, lots of beer and to top it off, a hometown win. That day couldn't have gone better - except for the whole laryngitis bit that is, started to lose my voice about 15 minutes in and ended up honking like a donkey for much of the rest of the game until it gave out completely in the last quarter. So sexy.

But all in all, it really was a pretty perfect weekend. And we've managed to keep that energy going. We're still busy, still not seeing each other as much as we're used to, but we're trying. So far, so good.

(And even if we do fall out of groove for a second, I now know how to get it back: sex and football. Easy peasy.)

Dear Diary...

2010-09-22T19:27:00.003-04:00

I wanna know if I'm hot.

Not just pretty hot, sexy hot. Guy hot. (I know this sounds ridiculous, but it's true - and I know I'm not the only one).

It's one thing to know a guy thinks you're hot, it's another to know most guys do. I wanna know how I rate on 10, I wanna know what they say when I leave the room...

Unsolved Mysteries...

2010-09-21T20:09:00.005-04:00

Why is it that all guys seem to think they're hotter than they really are?!

You're not that cute, you're not that funny, and you're definitely not that slick, so stop assuming that you could get any/every girl if you really wanted to. If you're not George or Johnny, it's just not that simple. Not if she's single, not if she's drunk, not if she's freshly dumped, depressed, and on the prowl.

WE choose YOU, don't you forget it.

Sexy Inventions...

2010-09-11T14:22:00.003-04:00

Clearly invented by a cuddler. Loving this one.
(Those foot tucks look cozy)

Oops...

2010-09-11T13:38:00.007-04:00

I'm a terrible girlfriend.

Remember how I just said that things were going great with my boyfriend? Like literally one post ago? Well, I've managed to change that. Not intentionally of course (it never is), I've just once again put my foot in my mouth and made a complete mess of things. And not just little things, a big thing, a very serious big thing. A very crucial, very "foundations of a good relationship" kind of thing...

Doubt. In me. In us.

The last thing that anyone in a happy and serious relationship wants is to have their partner concerned about their commitment or loyalty (for whatever reason), and I've managed to jeopardize that myself.

How, you might ask? Well, I've mentioned a name one too many times. A guy's name. A guy I work with who is really nice, but that's it. Someone that I very much do NOT have any kind of inappropriate or unprofessional feelings towards whatsoever. In fact, its quite the opposite. I think the reason why I get along with him as well as I do because he is exactly the opposite of what my boyfriend thinks he is: utterly, completely and obviously nonthreatening. Does that make sense?

What I mean is that sometimes you meet people you can just be cool around precisely because of the fact that they aren't a blip on your radar. At least not in that kind of way. Kind-hearted, genuinely sincere and (best of all) faithfully "attached" (to someone else) kind of people. Well, this guy is that kind of guy. He's a good kid (yes kid, only about 20 or so) who's laid back and happily in love with his girlfriend (and probably one day wife) of 5 years. See? Nonthreatening.

Unfortunately however, my boyfriend doesn't get to see this. He doesn't get to come to work with me and see how this guy is, and how he interacts with everyone, including me. All my boyfriend knows is that I'm cool with a guy at work (among others of course), I sometimes eat lunch with him and some others on break, and he sometimes picks me up and/or drops me off at mine to or from work since it's about 2 streets down from his girlfriend's and totally "on the way". And fyi, I live exactly 3 minutes drive from the front door of our office so it's not like there is time for any heart to hearts or anything. What's started it all is that this guy's name keeps coming up when I talk about work (I mean, we're a small group to begin with, so there are only so many characters involved in each story anyway). And that, in combination with the whole car pooling thing, has him stressed and what I think to be a bit insecure as well… I know I would be.

Now I'm not a retard here, I know that my boyfriend is already being more forgiving about this than most would be given the same situation, trust me, but I really don't know how to get it through to him that this is nothing to be worried about. I mean I hang out with this guy just as much, and in the same way I do with the girls! But then, I do kinda feel bad because I see his side of it and where he's coming from as well. And while I've realized that I should probably just keep my mouth shut about things that happen at work (and believe, from now on I will), I'm worried that the damage is already done.

It's all a big mess right now, and I'm not too sure how to fix it.

But then I hate that there is anything to fix in the first place because there shouldn't be since nothing is going on! And worst of all is that by defending myself I sound all the more guilty of having something to defend! Also, (can't lie here) I'm a bit pissed off that my boyfriend seems to fear that this might turn into something that might threaten our relationship, it's not nearly that serious!? I mean, he should know and trust in my feelings for him… right?

(breath)

Then again, maybe this is only a big deal because my boyfriend and I are seeing less of each other lately and, consequently, having less sex.

But that's another post.

On Being Woman...

2010-09-07T22:09:00.004-04:00

“She’s a handful, but all the best ones are.”

Been A Minute....

2010-09-07T21:58:00.002-04:00

Well, its been about 3 months since I've posted anything. (Super long time, I know, sorry.)

I almost wish I could say I had some incredibly romantic reason for why I've been MIA, like backpacking through South America, or having been too caught up in some blissful summer romance to even remember what a quiet night typing away in my room even felt like. (Uh, not knocking my relationship with Smooth or anything, definitely not, that's going great, I'll be telling you all about that later, of course)

....

Laziness.

Yup, that's my reason. I know, not really much of one, but it's been 2 years okay?! That's a long time! Talking about oneself can get kinda boring after a while fyi.

Okay who am I kidding, no it doesn't.

But seriously, I'm here now. I'm "back" so to speak. Not quite inspired, but definitely ... motivated.

It's true, I've missed this.

I've missed YOU!

Forgiven? Good. Now, let's get to it....

Advisory

2010-09-07T21:12:00.003-04:00

The tone of this blog is going to be changing a bit. It has to.

Part of the reason why I couldn't write for so long is because I'm no longer a "single girl", I just can't get into that head space. I'll still be ranting about the usual of course, only now it'll most likely be in relation to having to put up with such things in a relationship - an apology, in advance, for those of you who are going to see my "settled-ness" as a buzz kill. But change is good, and a new direction is exactly what I need to get me inspired. Embrace it, I promise I'll make it fun.

"I can't rap about what's not around me", that's what T.I. said and that's my new motto... only, I'm talking about things like pick-up bars and one night stands, not illegal weapons possession and drug turfs, or rapping for that matter.

Food For Thought...

2010-06-09T22:06:00.003-04:00

Interesting...

Sum(mer) Inspiration...

2010-05-22T18:34:00.005-04:00

I'm such a girl.

Leave it to a skirt to be the only thing to motivate my getting into shape this summer. Not wanting a lingerie-ready body to impress my man, or the fact that my legs get strained quick in certain positions... a skirt. A $200 sequined mini and the skinny bitch that's wearing it.

Now I'm fat and broke.

Hmph.

What Ever Happened To...

2010-05-21T20:23:00.004-04:00

Dinner & Dancing Dates?

Call me old fashioned but I really long for the days when "dinner and dancing" meant more than grabbing a 10-piece nugget trio after 3 hours of grinding it up on some sweaty cramped dance floor.

I mean how is it possible that with all of things that modern society has come up with to keep itself entertained, something as wonderful as spending the night swaying to a live jazz/blues/mo-town/big band has disappeared? At what point did that become boring & uncool exactly?

I want to feel beautiful and sexy ... without having to risk flashing the crowd or getting groped in the dark by some mystery man.

Dear Diary....

2010-05-11T21:29:00.007-04:00

As much as I hate the image that that god awful American Apparel pushes.... I want so badly to be one of its models. So badly. Just for a day.

I want to walk around in a sheer bum-cheekless panty-hose body suit with no make-up and tube socks. I want to roll around on a stained couch in some crappy new york city apartment.

I want to be hot like that. Not just pretty hot, but dirty hot.

"That girl's trouble" hot.

Just once I want to be the girl that you don't want hanging around your man.

Dear Diary...

2010-05-10T22:18:00.004-04:00

I accidentally called his apartment "home"... as in our place. He didn't freak out. Neither did I.

Truth is, I really kind of like the sound of that. A lot.

Girl Code vs. Work Code

2010-05-10T21:15:00.002-04:00

Started a new job last week (yaaaay!) and, as it turns out, my good friend's ex sits a desk away from me. Facing me.

To say that their relationship was troubled doesn't really cut it. They didn't work for a long time, and they took way to long to figure that out. Things got really ugly, and they both ended up doing things they shouldn't have (one more than the other, but that's besides the point here). Since then however, they've both moved on, and from what I can tell, are both doing quite alright in light of it (she especially).

As for him, I have no idea. He seems fine, he's really nice and funny, not to mention quite a bit flirty with just about every girl in the entire building. However I've noticed one thing, he's really quiet about his social life when around me. And I don't mean in terms of talking to me about it, but just talking about it in general while I'm int the vicinity. I mean, from what I've been able to pick up in the 2 weeks I've been working, it's not secret that he's very much single and dating. That much is clear. Even our boss calls him on it.

But he seems to incredibly (and to be honest, quite awkwardly) tight-lipped when around me, I mean like laughing cracking jokes with everyone in the room, out loud and unabashedly, and then pulling a straight face and burying his head in his work when he notices I'm laughing along.

It's as if he thinks I were a mole or something, planted there to watch and report his every move.

But the truth is, my showing up at his job is purely coincidental, there's no need for him to be worried about me. I'm not going to run and tell his ex that he spent the day bragging about his "prowess" or how many girls he chatted up - 1) I don't care enough to pay that kind attention to him, and 2) he's really quite nice and helpful to me (in all other respects) so why would I risk changing that?

Yes there is girl code, and I will no doubt have her back should it ever get to the point where I need to, but I'm definitely not going to hold a grudge against her ex if I don't have any beef with him. Right? I mean, isn't this a valid exception to the rule? I'm the new girl, I can't just come in with drama… also, who really gives a shit at this point anyway? She's happy and better off now, what does it matter who his latest flavour of the month is?

I dunno, maybe I should pull him aside and talk to him and let him know he doesn't have to worry. I don't want to be his best friend or anything, but I do hope that we can learn be comfortable just being ourselves, I mean, I'll be around him more than my own family so… yeah, I have to figure something out.

10 Reasons...

2010-05-03T22:05:00.007-04:00

... Why Office Romances Work.
(Not advocating, just saying... then again, I'm not not advocating it either)

10) You can sleep over, and then car-pool in the morning.

9) Eating alone will never be an issue again.

8) The people you work with aren't exactly your bestest friends ever (new word, yes), so their opinions and thoughts don't really have to matter or weigh you down.

7) You don't have to explain why you're stressed/grumpy/not in the mood. He knows, and actually does understand exactly how you feel.

6) Forget sexy texts, a trusty ol' janitors closet is just a hallway away.

5) It's pretty much guaranteed to be short-lived, and casual. Since you both have real lives filled with commitments outside of work, neither of you really have the time to deal with any at it. This is business after all.

4) You see him more than you do your own friends and family, and you don't even have to feel bad about it.

3) You (both) always look and smell impeccable, which does loads for one's sense of attraction... especially if it means never having to put up with the more stale odors and behaviors of their more natural "home-self".

2) The secrecy of it all. A good relationship needs a little spice, and nothing sizzles more than a juicy little secret you can't tell anyone about.

1) It's naughty. And everyone likes to feel just a little bit bad.

F.Y.I.

2010-04-29T20:10:00.005-04:00

It's no secret that we girls objectify you guys just as much as you do us - seriously, if you guys only knew how we talk about a guy with our girlfriends (you should be so lucky) - however some of us are better at it than others, less ... perverted about our ogling shall we say.

Think of it as an art form if you have to boys, something that involves skill, technique, and deliberate restraint if you will.

Why am I talking about this? Because I have officially seen one too many of you spot a girl from a distance and, like a hawk with it's pray, stop, get into position, and wait (a little too eagerly) for her approach. And then there's the whole craning of the neck and pursed lips thing which is just plain distasteful.

This MUST stop.

Not only is it disgusting, but it's insulting. If you're going to treat like a piece of meat, at least have the decency to do it in private, because this is just plain gross. Pretend you're checking to see if you've dropped something behind you, or better yet (ingenious idea here); just use your eyes, instead of your whole body, to catch the "view".

I'm not asking you to not be a creep (Lord knows that's too much to ask), just try to be more subtle about it, please, for both our sakes, or else you might not know you've stared down the wrong girl until it's too late.

Words of Wisdom...

2010-04-26T19:33:00.001-04:00

“Give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him. If that woman were me, I would love him alone and forever.”

- Francesca Bruni (Casanova)

Sexy Inventions...

2010-04-13T18:23:00.004-04:00

Practical? No. Wearable? Every chance I'd get.

Normal and Happy...

2010-04-13T17:36:00.005-04:00

Holy cow have I been out of it. Distracted is more like it. In the best way, and for good reason, but still, distracted the nonetheless, sorry.

Good news is it's because a lot has been going on since I last wrote, lots!

(I'm going to skip the part about losing my job since it's a real downer and just skip to the part you're all here for anyway...)

I suppose the biggest thing is that I am now officially Smooth's girlfriend. Yup, we made it official, about 2 weeks ago... and I'm absolutely thrilled about it. I know I know, three weeks ago I was saying how perfectly happy I was being his non-girlfriend and how I just wanted a little me time to get back on my feet again well, I changed my mind. I'm allowed to do that aren't I? I guess I just realized that the "reasons" I was using as an excuse to take things slow were just insecurities left over from my last relationship, and I wasn't about to get over them (or move past them or whatever) by staying in a state of limbo. I promised myself I'd do what made me feel happy ... and doing Smooth does just that. What? It does, very, very, very, much so. And so does just being with him in general so I told Smooth I wanted to be his girlfriend, officially, and we have since lived happily ever after.

And were at that fun part too, you know, the honeymoon phase where we just can't seem to get enough of each other. Not in an annoying way or anything, I mean it's not like we're all over each other all the time - only at his place (wink wink) - but like we'll spend an entire weekend together, I'm talking Friday night to Monday morning cosied up at his place, and then be desperate to see each other two days later. Yup, 10 blissful days and counting…

The other big step we took was introducing me to his family. Yeah, you read that right. For Easter dinner no less. I mean, as if being the new girlfriend/new girl that their son and brother is sleeping with isn't already stressful enough, I had to do it with Jesus in the room. But in all seriousness though, it went well, quite well actually, I mean, I think they really like me. And next week I'll be introducing him to mine.

And the best part is that neither of us is freaked out or unsure about any of it, so far it's all progressed rather naturally. I don't know if it's an age thing (I'm assuming so), but there is definitely a certain synchronicity between us in the way we think and act with each other that makes it all feel very ... normal. Kind of like this is how it's supposed to be.

So yeah, we are now very officially a couple, and I'm loving it.

Words of Wisdom...

2010-03-22T13:52:00.005-04:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Lauryn sings life. A song for every thought and feeling. It's incredible. I don't know if this is supposed to be an open letter to her fans or an anthem for women wronged (or both), but it's good and probably relates to a lot of you right now.

Get it, put it in your Ipod, and sit back and let her do what she does best.

Lose Myself

I used to do it for the love a long time ago
And all I ever wanted was love
I used to love without fear a long time ago
And all I ever wanted was love
Then somebody came around and tried to hurt me
Tried to make me feel like I was unworthy
Took a pure love and tried to make it dirty
Truth was they never did deserve me, no!

Chorus:
I had to lose myself so I could love you better
I had to lose myself, had to lose myself so I could love you better
Had to lose myself, had to lose myself
So I could love you better
Lose myself in love
And that's just the way it is

Couldn't tell me I was love when I needed it
When all I ever wanted was love
Shoulda told me just because I'm worth receiving it
But all I ever wanted was love
There's is something awkward about the selflessness it takes to
Give love and the good that it makes you
True love can never really forsake you
But it took a little while just for me to see!

(Chorus)

I had a paralyzing fear of facing failure
And I couldn't love you perfectly with fear in my head
So I perilously had to face the danger
So I could come back and love you whole instead
All of your soul I said!
So I could love you better

(Chorus)

And so it goes that I never meant to hurt you
Couldn't stay but I never meant to desert you
Whole lot a things I just had to work through
Time to heal and restore myself worth too
Confrontation of my fears and anxiety
Cried a whole lot years I suffered quietly
And though it may have taken years I can finally
Tell you that you were always on my mind!

(Chorus)

Takes strength to absorb all the abuse I did
Great love to absorb all the misuse I did
Hey baby, it's not an excuse I give
And I'd do it all again because for you I live

Takes strength to absorb all the abuse I did
Great love to absorb all the abuse I did
Hey baby, it's not an excuse I give
And I'd do it all again because for you I live

I had to lose myself so I could make it better
I had to lose myself, had to lose myself so I could make it better
Had to lose myself, had to lose myself
So I could make it better
Had to lose myself in love
And that was just the way!
And that was just the way it is...

Somewhere In The Middle.....

2010-03-08T23:21:00.013-05:00

Since some of you are asking, here's the latest on Smooth and I.

We're not officially together-together, but we're together. As in, we're exclusive, we see each other multiple times a week, we talk everyday and are even making travels plans together... but we're not technically boyfriend and girlfriend.

Please don't make that face.

I know it sounds kind of retarded (maybe even slightly pathetic), but right now I just can't deal with the whole "girlfriend" label, I need a break from it. Seriously, that title connotes feelings of (if I'm honest) burden, smothering, and just a lot of stress in general for me, so I can't go back to it just yet. And I know that the way things were in my last relationship aren't necessarily the way things will be in my next one - I get that - but right now I'm feeling ... free. I only have me to worry about and I want it to stay that way (at least for a little while longer). It's not about still wanting to be able to see other people, or being all hipster and too cool for labels or anything, I just really need a casual status right now, for my own sanity. And he's genuinely ok with that. So you see? All good!

We're just similar enough to want to do new and fun things together like go to cool museum exhibits, fashion shows and even a televised awards show a couple weeks ago, and just different enough to ensure that the more regular things we do together are always interesting. We have fun, we're not rushing, and we're content with that.

So officially (for now) we're ... "companions". No, that sounds like were 80. "Friends". No, closer than that, "special friends". Ok that really does make us sound retarded. Whatever, you get the point. We're happy, as is.

No pressure, no labels, just us.

Just Thinkin'....

2010-03-08T20:01:00.007-05:00

I was thinking about my ex the other day.

Well, not so much him as our break-up, and how unfortunate it is that when it comes to relationships, or at least non mutual break-ups, you really have to hurt the one you love in order to get out of it. And I don't mean being petty or purposely mean about it - not like saying horrible things or selfishly acting out in ways that you know will hurt them - but rather, that you really have to break their heart for it to be fully over.

What I'm trying to say is that it seems, to me at least, that when it comes to relationships and love, there is always one person that loves a bit stronger/harder/deeper than the other. And when the person on the receiving end of that love can no longer reciprocate that kind of emotion, nothing short of utter devastation will make that clear. For instance, with me and my ex, telling him we were on different pages simply wasn't enough because he tried to make up for it by getting a car, a better job, a better apartment, and making all kinds of promises that he could change. But the truth was, all that stuff wasn't the issue. The truth was, I wasn't in love with him anymore. When my feelings changed exactly or why I stayed with him despite that really isn't the point; the only way I could really get out was to be fully honest (with him and myself) and tell him that… and subsequently break his heart. And that sucks. I mean, I'm glad I was up front about it and didn't lie or cheat or hang around in misery waiting for him to dump me, but like I hate that I had to say those words to him. I hate that I had to hurt him as deeply as I did for it to be done.

Then again, I guess there is no better way really, that slap in the face is often what we need to snap out of it and see things for what they really are. It's so easy to make excuses and waste more time trying to "work things out" when your in it (love that is), I mean, the saying is there for a reason right? We really do become blind.

Anyway, I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, it's just kind of hanging on my mind. It's not about regretting the break-up, that really was for the better, I guess I just wish there was a softer way to do it that's all...

Men Are Like...

2010-02-18T18:21:00.003-05:00

... Parking Spaces.

The good ones are taken and what's left is either too small or handicapped.

10 Reasons...

2010-02-18T17:59:00.008-05:00

... To Date An Older Guy

10. Better conversations and story telling. His thoughts and memories are formed of real things like traveling and lessons learned, instead of sports analogies and beer pong championships.

9. He can introduce you to a million an one cool "new" things you're too young to know about.

8. Someone's already "fixed" him. It might not have worked out, but she set him straight, and now you get to reap all the benefits (cooks, cleans, and dresses well too!).

7. He knows himself, which means he knows his shortcomings/idiosyncrasies and when he's messed up… which means you don't have to breakdown (or blow up) in order for him to communicate an apology to you.

6. No games. No waiting three days to call, no worrying about "where this is going", no getting back at you for anything. At this point he knows what matters and doesn't care to waste his time on what doesn't.

5. He's been around. And by that I mean, he's dated enough bad apples to know when and how to appreciate a good one (aka YOU).

4. Chivalry. Opening doors and pulling out chairs might seem like little things to most, but they mean the world to a girl who's used to having to "shotgun" the booth before even walking into a place... seriously.

3. More of a willingness to try new things. Whether it's watching 'Bad Education' and/or partnering you in a couples facial, he'll do it if means putting a smile on your face … no matter how challenging to his manhood it may be.

2. He can think past his own penis! I'm talking about when it comes to the physical, he's just… about you. (If you've made the transition from dating a boy to a dating a man, you'll appreciate this point that much more).

1. Confidence. In himself, in you, in what the two of you have going on. Doesn't get much sexier than that.

FYI

2010-02-10T22:27:00.004-05:00

Rejection sucks. Everyone knows it, there's no way to get around it. However, it being in our nature to do so, we girls can, and often do, soften the blow for you since we don't really want you to suffer too much hurt and embarrassment.

But seriously, you guys need to start picking up on our hints, because we will get mean if we have to.

When a girl tells you "I just got out of a relationship and I'm not really seeing anyone right now", she's being kind, appreciate that. It is not an invitation to start making her see someone (as in, you), or her way of saying "I'm not ready right now, but call me in a week or so and we'll see". What she means is she's not really in seeing YOU right now, and by "right now" she means at all/ever. If she liked you, there wouldn't be an excuse. Plain and simple. She would've have made plans with you regardless of how fresh the breakup is, how hectic her job is right now, or however recently Fluffy passed away.

So take a hint, take it like the man that you are, and walk away.

Rant!

2010-02-10T22:17:00.006-05:00

You know what's funny? How quickly word gets out when a girl finds herself single again. Or worse, how every guy she's ever met seems to find a reason to call/text/message her when they find out. Whats with that? How do they just know?

Is there some giant computer somewhere out there keeping track of all this info that I don't know about? Sending it out in mass emails to every guy I've ever known EVER? Seriously, how is this possible?

It doesn't matter that I haven't seen you (let alone said so much as three words to you) in two full, three hundred and sixty-five day years, you still manage to put "we should go to dinner, you know, something more personal" in the same sentence as "Hi! Beautiful day! What you been up too these past couple months/years?".

Uh - I'm sorry, who are you again? And, why are you asking me out?

Didn't we do this already? Weren't you 1) not interested in 2) "just friends" with 3) rejected by me the last time we talked? Has anything really changed since then? Are you thinking that after years "just having fun" you're now over it and, knowing that I'm good girlfriend material, want to settle down and have me take care of you? Or is it because you're thinking two years might have been enough time for me to "forget" why I didn't like you in the first place and we can start over? Or, are you doing that ego thing where you check in with me just to see if you could still "get that" if you really wanted to? Because seriously, don't waste your time.

Not going to happen my friend.

Been there, done that.

I haven't been waiting for you. I haven't even been thinking about you. And you're not on any reserve list of mine.

I've moved on. That's what we do, and by "we" I mean us girls. Yes we might hold on longer than we need too, yes we might get a bit crazy when you dump us, and yes we might be mopy for a while after it, but it's a process. We're going through the motions. It doesn't matter how much or how bad we loved or crushed on you, once enough time passes, we chalk it up to another lesson learned and move the f**k on.

So get over me, do the same, and save me that awkward call/text/message of rejection, again. Thanks.

Moving in Slow Motion...

2010-02-01T01:16:00.008-05:00

So, since I last wrote - which I realize was a while ago, and for that, sincerely apologize - Smooth and I have gone on 2 more dates (neither at his place, since I still feel its a bit too soon for that), had our first kiss/made-out, and had a talk about where this is going, well, sorta.

Here's the update:

Date 3 was at his friend's birthday party, aka his inner circle. It went well I think, though I can't say I really got a chance to talk to anyone what with being a little distracted - ok a lot distracted - by Smooth and his very charming, very bright smile and perfectly fitted figure framing sweater (sigh). See, we were kind of in our own little bubble that night, a flirt bubble. Not in an annoying way or anything, it's not like we were attached at the hip the whole night (that would have been rude rude)… only like 90% of it. Ok, so we pretty much only separated for bathroom breaks and a very strange (and slightly awkward) old school dance-off between him and some girl - yes I'm serious, no, he did not win. But in my defense it was (technically) our a date, so lots of flirting/ laughing/closeness in general is kind of the point.

The kiss came at the end of the night. No details on that (sorry), but trust me when I say it was nice.

Anyway, we had a great time that night. I got to see him be himself around the people he's most comfortable with, and I liked what I saw. Best date yet I'd say.

Date 4 was pretty great too, much cooler vibe, and definitely our most serious one yet. Well, for me at least. We went to a fundraising event at this small bar, the kind of place that is dark and cozy and good for getting to know someone. Which is exactly what we did, not like that, cheeky little fu**ers, the old fashion way: we talked. Talked about a lot of things, personal things … things that I don't usually open up about so early on with someone I'm so unfamiliar with.

And that's where I start questioning things. Nothing here is actually familiar, I mean I've only hung out with him 4 times, I really don't know the guy. But for some reason it feels familiar, he feels familiar. And while a part of me is sensible enough to know that that's a good thing, but it's also what makes me so nervous about all this in the first place.

Why is this so easy? Isn't it supposed to take you half the time you were in a relationship to get over it? It's been 8 weeks, shouldn't I be a mess right now? I kind of feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop or something…

The good think is that I think he senses that on some level, which is why he's being so cool about taking it easy. Yes he's been single for a while, but he hasn't hung around all this time only to end up as my rebound (he told me that). Being that I just got out of a relationship, jumping into anything too soon will only screw things up. And neither of us really wants that. So for right now, we're just taking it slow.

No labels, no pressure, just time.

Dear Diary...

2010-01-25T23:48:00.001-05:00

Mission accomplished.

Very accomplished.

Strike 1...

2010-01-20T20:15:00.004-05:00

Well, he's invited me on date 3. Fun, except that he wants it to be at his place.

This makes me weary.

He says it's just to "hang out", watch a movie (a scary one, because he knows how much I hate those, charming no?), eat ribs, and drink a few Stellas. And, to be honest, I trust that. I mean, he's an adult and so am I, so we both know that there are, of course, some other more devious intentions behind that idea, but really that's part of the fun of it all. Besides, I carry a can of bear spray in my purse and I'm not afraid to use it, so you see, it's not the actual date at his house part that bothers me.

What bothers me is the timing of it all. Yes it's date 3, but it's still only week 1. And to be honest, the fact that he's already thinking he's at this point with me is kind of a let down. Yes I want to make-out, but I want courtship too! Two dates does not a bed mate make (or cuddle buddy, wtv). Perhaps I have to make that a little bit clearer.

So I'm going to push this one back a bit you know, give him some time to cool off...

Words of Wisdom...

2010-01-20T15:31:00.013-05:00

“You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin'.”

- Samantha Jones (of course)

The Birthday Party...

2010-01-17T22:56:00.011-05:00

You'll have to forgive me, I'm a bit hungover so I'm going to make this quick.

I celebrated my 25th a bit early last night with friends and some cousins. Smooth showed up. I was little nervous at first - once I saw him I realized I wasn't quite at the 'meet my friends and family' stage - but there he was, so I figured I'd better just go with it. Went to the washroom for a minute while he ordered his drink to check my make-up/breath/teeth, and stepped back out into the crowd ready to bring him over and introduce him to everyone. Couldn't find him - because he was already at the table, well past introductions and already encroaching onto conversation.

okay.

Got to the table, fixed myself a drink (tripple), found a nice spot to dance/chat in the corner, and rather nervously decided to throw caution to the wind.

good call.

We had a great night. Much more flirting and touching than on our previous date (he said I smelled amazing, love a guy who notices a good perfume). And he took well to my circle - a little too well actually considering it's only our second "date" and he's already got inside jokes with my best friend. I wanted to be a little put off by that, really I did, but he's just too cute to be mad at.

uh oh.

Ended the night with two kisses (on the cheek like the french, because that's how we do it here) and texted each other all the ride home. He asked to see me again before Thursday (my actual birthday). I said ok. That will make 3 dates... in about 8 days. Definitely need to take a breather.

... after the next one.

Dear Diary...

2010-01-16T14:36:00.002-05:00

Still haven't satisfied my craving... but keenly aware that that might be changing soon.

Date Night...

2010-01-16T11:42:00.007-05:00

Guess who went on a date 2 nights ago?

I know what your thinking. Bit quick, no? Well, not really. See, I've come to terms with the break up. I can't say my heart has fully healed, but it has been 6 weeks so, long enough to know if it was the right decision or not. It was. Also, I really needed an excuse to get out of the house.

So about my date, let's call him Mr. Smooth. He's tall, dark and handsome, a bit older than me, and a self proclaimed "dreamer" - a practical one though, one with plans, which is good since I consider myself to be very much a realist. I think the best part about him is that the more I get to know him, the less he proves to be what I had him pinned for... so that's nice.

Anyway, it really doesn't even feel right calling it a date, since to be honest, it really didn't feel like one. See, we avoided the traditional (and rather formal) dinner setting and started right away with drinks, you know, to break the nerves. Here's the weird part though - I didn't have any. And now I'm wondering if that's a good, or bad sign. Usually, it takes me like 2 hours to get ready for a date, trying to find the right outfit and rolling over conversation topics in my head in preparation (yes, I actually do that). Anyway, this time I got ready in about 45 minutes. I just grabbed something to put on (hardly even looked in the mirror), threw on a bit of make-up, and went to meet him downtown. I was unusually comfortable and confident in myself - which is never the case, especially not on a first date.

But conversation was easy. Good eye contact, jokes and a bit of teasing. (It also helps that he has a voice like hot butter). We talked about a lot of things: current affairs, food, growing apart from friends, and New York City. Actually, it went so well that we got carried away and ended up being late for our movie - but that was ok since it turned out to be crap anyway, Sherlock Holmes, seriously, don't bother. At one point during the film I thought he might shift his hand over slightly and touch mine, or my knee, since we were so close - ok, I hoped he would - but he didn't. After all, it was only the first date so I suppose he was trying to be a gentleman... dammit. After the movie, we contemplated another drink, but seeing how it was already after midnight (and we both had work the next day), we opted to just call it a night. He dropped me off, and that was that.

Overall I would say it was a pretty decent first "date". A few surprises - like opening /holding doors for me and seating me first (something I am not at all used to, but will now definitely be holding as standard), a lot of compliments, and an overall sense of comfortableness between us - and one or two slight disappointments - conversation, while entertaining was generally superficial and a little formal, just not sure if I really got a good sense of who he is. Oh yeah, and I don't know if he gets my sense of humor, I tend to like to tease a lot and he didn't seem to pick-up on that... but that will come. I hope.

The good thing is, I definitely need, and want, a second date to find out more. Not sure if I can say I "like" like him yet, but I'm definitely intrigued. And that will have to be good enough for now.

Sexy Inventions...

2010-01-10T14:02:00.006-05:00

Beacuse actually wearing your underwear and jeans like this is so uncomfortable...

The End of POF...

2010-01-10T13:41:00.002-05:00

Despite my (rather desperate now) need to make-out, I've decided to delete my POF account.

I had to. I just couldn't bear it anymore.

I know I said I would keep you all updated my adventures both online and on potential dates, but the overwhelming majority of guys on there were just too pathetic/perverted/desperate for me to deal with. And I know that sounds harsh but really, I can only handle so many lame lines and sexual propositions. I mean, are these guys serious? Does that really work? Do women really respond to that crap?

Then again, perhaps that is all it takes to woo the type of women on free online dating sites like POF... in which case I should never have signed up in the first place.

Anyway, at least I know I'm not missing out on anything.

Dear Diary....

2010-01-04T22:19:00.008-05:00

I have found a downside to being single again.

I can't just make-out anymore.

I have a terrible craving to just kiss someone (!) and in order to do that I now have to get dressed up, go out, find a cute guy, meet him, ~~get drunk~~, flirt, and get to know him a bit over drinks/lunch date/dog park excursion first.

I miss the days where I could just turn around and have someone there, ready.

Secret Sex...

2009-12-30T10:07:00.007-05:00

One of my aims in doing this blog is to help enlighten the women who read it on how and why men think and act like they do. Of course, I'm limited in my ability to do that since, well, I'm a woman, and can therefore only speak from what I've been able to rationalize from their behaviour myself. Realizing that it might be good to get a real guy's perspective in here every once in a while, I invited a friend, Lucious*, to help. So without further ado, here is his first post on a subject matter that we (girls) have all found ourselves in at one point or another.

Ladies, take heed.

"Secret Sex"

You are in a relationship, or so you think, and the two of you have been ‘talking’ for some time. You think you’re dating him and, for the most part, you’re pretty sure he is dating you back. BUT all your dates are composed of time spent on the couch and time spent in the bedroom at your house or his.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Insight: The girl a guy keeps solely in his apartment or her apartment, generally indoors, is a girl he doesn’t want people to know he is associated with. Most times this is because he is busy chopping down another tree on the side, or maybe two; or because he doesn’t want the general population of females to know that he is tied down.

This doesn’t always take away from what the two of you might have. He might really like you, as much as you like him, but he’s not ready to make it as official as sharing that with the world by spending a night on the town. This is the same thing as placing that awkward two feet gap between the two of you when you do, by chance, take an excursion outdoors. The goal here is to keep you close enough, all the while giving other potentials the impression that the two of you might just be friends.

The extreme: Some guys act in this manner for a simpler reason – you’re a jump-off. There is nothing to the relationship except sex and it makes no sense taking you places because he isn’t interested in you in that manner. Therefore, the extent of your relationship becomes the couch and the bedroom.

The Upside: Some guys genuinely do simply enjoy staying indoors. These are the low-maintenance; non busy-body types who don’t need a lot of glitz and glam to have fun. You can tell if yours fits these criteria by measuring the awkward space between the two of you if you ever make it outdoors, or if he holds your hand.

- Lucious

Words of Wisdom...

2009-12-27T10:53:00.001-05:00

"Life and love go on, let the music play"

-Johnny Cash

Looking on the Bright Side...

2009-12-26T23:22:00.007-05:00

So another Christmas has come and gone and to my surprise, it wasn't that bad. Like at all actually. I thought that it was going to be a lot harder considering the recent break-up and all, but to tell you the truth, I'm feeling pretty good these days.

I spent a lovely Christmas morning with my mom and sister opening presents (digital camera, blackberry, Zara gift certificates AND my favorite perfume - I really can't be any happier right now), and then settled in for 2 days of great food, more gift exchanges, and general extended-family togetherness. To top it off, I didn't have to deal with one single awkward question about the ex from any of my curious family members thanks to my trusty old grand-mother and her beautiful big mouth. (Something which under normal circumstances never ceases to drive me insane, but in this case, happens to be very much appreciated.)

Anyways, as these last 2 days have gone by, I've done a lot of thinking, and I've come to the realization that spending the holidays alone (as in single, not alone alone) isn't my worst nightmare after all. It's quite the opposite in fact, with more advantages to it than disadvantages:

Cons:
- No date to holiday parties
- Nobody to cuddle up with at night
- Nobody to share those embarrassing family moments/ make fun of family with

Pros:
- No dilemma over which mom's Christmas dinner to go too
- Won't have to answer any of those awkward couple questions from nosy family members
- No stressing out over the perfect gift for him
- No date to holiday parties (wink wink)
- Endless opportunities to get "caught" under the mistletoe
- AND I no longer have to waste my hot new holiday dress on someone who's already seen me dress up a hundred times and therefore won't truly appreciate just how fierce it is/ I look

Obviously there are a few down sides to being single over Christmas/New Years, but it's nothing that can't be helped by friends, family, and a little ~~alcohol~~ black dress. I have the chance to do what I feel like doing - without having to think of anyone else - for the first time in a long time, so I'm might as well just enjoy that for the time being.

Happy Holidays...

2009-12-24T23:02:00.005-05:00

Wishing each and every one of you the very best this holiday season.

Have fun and be safe.

Love always,

Morgan

Dear Diary....

2009-12-20T22:16:00.002-05:00

Funny how people can surprise you.

I thought I made up my mind about him. Maybe, I was wrong.

Men Are Like...

2009-12-20T21:59:00.004-05:00

... Coffee.

The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied, and can keep you up all night long.

Meanwhile ... on POF

2009-12-14T22:57:00.005-05:00

Checked my Inbox on POF today. Got a message from Mr. Wrong. No, seriously, that was his screen name.

His message said "you are sexy, let's chat". (Oh goody, a creative one). For fun, I checked out his profile. In the 'about me' part he wrote: "the one you wouldn't usually go for at first glance, but after a few drinks and once you get to talking, realize he is a good person despite his many flaws".

Riiiiight, because that makes me want to find out more.

Delete.

Of course, there were the predictable messages from over-tanned, over-muscular, and most likely under-educated shirtless torsos as well.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

Sigh, yup, real jackpot I've hit here...

One Week Later...

2009-12-09T13:06:00.004-05:00

So I’m at that point where I’ve accepted that the relationship is over, but am now grieving the loss of my best friend. I keep catching myself writing out texts to him and wanting to push 6 on my speed-dial (his assigned position).

It’s not necessarily that I miss him in the sense that I want to get back together with him, but not having that person there to crack jokes with, send good-morning and good-night texts to, or just get a hug from when I need one is hard. Really hard.

But I suppose this too shall pass…

DOs & DON'Ts Of Proper Bar Behaviour...

2009-12-09T11:52:00.006-05:00

DON'T get so drunk on a night out that your friends ditch you out of sheer embarrassment because you're stripper dancing half-naked on stage to Billy-Jean in tribute to Micheal Jackson and letting a pervy professor type 3 times your age (a little too eagerly) fondle you inappropriately at the bar.

My friends and I saw this poor thing out in TO this past weekend. We couldn't keep track of her the whole night, but by the end of it it seemed as though she had rather successfully organized a mini gang-bang with these two grandpas... all seemed to be quite happy about it. The whole thing was kinda sad really.

Anyways, to avoid waking-up in a bush somewhere a few miles from home with a bad itch, DO know your drinking limit and party with real friends who will take care of you in situations like this.

I Want A Love Like...

2009-12-05T11:30:00.012-05:00

I don't know how many of you are into spoken word, but my friend showed me this video about 2 years ago now, and I still smile every time I see it. So I thought I would post it.

... But for some reason or other Blogger won't let me, so instead, I'm posting the lyrics and a link to the video. Hopefully, it will make you smile too...

"This Type Love" by Shihan
(video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik7GFLB_CII)

I want a love like
Me thinking of you
Thinking of me thinking of you type love
Or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself
About how I feel about you type love
Or hating how jealous you are
But loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
Or see how your first name just sound so good next to my last name
And shit I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you
And I barely made it out of my garage

See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep
And wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love type love
Or who loves the other more
Or what she’s doing this exact moment
Or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts
Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good
Could hurt so much when she’s not there
And shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type love
And check this, I want to place those little post-it notes
All around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love
And not have enough ink in my pen to write all there is to love about her type love
And hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel

And I want to deal with my friends making fun of me
The way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love
Only difference is, this is one of those real love type loves
And just like in high school
I want to spend hours on the phone not saying shit
And then fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me
And smell her all up in my covers type love
I want to try counting the ways I love her
And lose count in the middle just so I have to start all over again
And I want to celebrate one of those one month anniversaries
Even though they ain’t really anniversaries
But doing it just ‘cause it make her happy type love
And, check this, I want to fall in love with the melody the phone plays
When her numbers are dialed into it type love
And talk to her until I lose my breathe
And she leaves me breathless
But with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me

I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan
To something that allows me to talk to her longer
‘Cause in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves
And I want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are
I mean the lines on my palms don’t give me enough time
To love you as long as I’d like to type love
And I want a love that makes me st-st-st-st-stutter
Just thinking about how strong this love is type love
And I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair
Well, maybe not all of the hair
Maybe like I cut the split ends and trim my moustache
But it would still be a symbol of how strong my love for her is

And check this, I kind of feel comfortable now
So I even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light
Just dying to get hit by a car
Just so I could lose my memory
Get transported to some third world country just to get treated
Then somehow meet up again with you so I can fall in love with you
In a different language and see if it still feels the same type love
I want a love that’s as unexplainable as she is

The Break-up...

2009-12-03T14:01:00.017-05:00

Ugh. This feeling sucks.

My boyfriend and I just split up. Well, more like he dumped me, but to be honest, it was time. We've been together for the last 15 or so months. On Tuesday it ended. It was horrible. Not the relationship, that was fun (for the most part), and I learned a lot so I don't regret it one bit, in fact, I cherish it. But the actual breaking-up was, and still is, absolutely horrendous - not how I would have imagined it to be in a million years. Emotions were high and we ended up saying things to each other which, if you had told me a week ago I was going to say, would have led me to think you were crazy.

But it was my first relationship, my first boyfriend, my first love (yes I'm a late bloomer - so what), so realistically, it was bound to end at some point. That point should have been about 6 months ago. The first 8 or so months of our relationship were amazing, a real romance. But over the course of the next 7 it was a cycle of arguments and making-up that really just ended up being far more stressful than they should have been, leading both of us to check out periodically.

The list of reasons for why we broke up - as in, the major problems we had that led to the reason he dumped me - includes failures in all of the most important parts of a relationship: communication, trust, support/motivation, and respect. (See? Doomed). But the actual reason for why he ended it was because I considered having a drink with another guy. I didn't actually go for one with him, but I did consider it. Anyway, It doesn't matter what the intentions were - it's a long story, and really, at this point, my explanation for why I agreed to it just doesn't matter anymore - I made a wrong move, and now I have to take responsibility for it. I have guilt, definitely. I've had nightmares, re-living it in my dreams for the last 3 nights in a row. But I think the real guilt that I have comes from hurting him, for the way it ended, and for not doing something about our relationship earlier on rather than the whole drink debacle.

I don't care about the drink. I wasn't really serious when I agreed to it, and I'm definitely not thinking about it now. That situation was a miss-step on my part, a mistake, but not a biggie. (But I mean, it's not like he was Mr. Perfect either, far from it). What I do care about though is the heart I broke. That is something I'm not going to be able to get over. I want so bad to be able to comfort him, to give him a hug, but, obviously, I can't/won't. I'm sorry for the way it ended too, a horrible argument and mean words was not how I would have wanted to say goodbye to him. But the thing I'm most sorry for is that I waited so long to get out. Instead of having conversation after conversation about how we could fix it, trying to convince myself, and him, that we could make it work, I should have just listened to what my gut was telling me. My gut, my family, my friends, and even him at one point. Everyone knew that I had checked out, a while ago, I was just too scared to let go.

But now it's over, not how I had planned, but over none the less. And too be honest, while I do feel sad, I also feel a bit relieved too...

Dick-tionary...

2009-11-29T21:31:00.005-05:00

Trysexual: A person who will try anything sexual at least once... or three times.

You Tell Me...

2009-11-29T20:25:00.003-05:00

So here's one for the guys: For a girl, attraction grows deeper with time. You may be cute on the first date, but you're pretty damn near comparable to Taylor Kitsch - see Friday Night Lights for reference - after you've cared for my sick cat while I was out of town or brought me soup and crackers when I was forced to stay up late cramming for exams. The more time we spend with you, the more there is to be turned on about. Unfortunately (and rather depressingly) I overheard two guys discussing the exact opposite of this at a pub today.

So you tell me: Does a girl really become less sexually desirable the longer you are with her?

Sexy Inventions...

2009-11-27T13:24:00.002-05:00

For those lonely nights...

First Impressions...

2009-11-25T22:23:00.017-05:00

Soooo... I joined PlentyOfFish.com yesterday. I know, I know, online dating ew perverts I know. Honestly, I've never been one to do this kind of thing, but I've heard good things about this site - my good friend just met her current and seemingly perfect boyfriend on there - so I figured it was at least worth a peek. And to my surprise, it's not that bad. Seriously. Given all the stories I hear, I was half expecting to be harassed by a bunch of ugly, divorced, older men. But so far, out the 30 or so messages I've received (not bad for a days work I think), I've only had one nasty old man, the rest were all relatively decent-looking young guys.

And what's really nice about about POF is that I can control who's allowed to contact me, from age right down to bad habits (ie: no smokers and no perverts looking for 2nd relationships or "intimate encounters"). I can even limit my suitors to only those with pictures! Which is great since that's half the work right there. But I think my favorite part of this whole thing is just reading the messages that these guys are sending me. I've got everything from trying-to-be-clever-but-actually-lame one-liners to full out requests for a date:

"So basically what your saying is you have layers like an onion, but when I get to your heart you wont make me cry will you?"

"I believe your the most beautiful girl in the world . You look like my dream girl to me what else should I say to ask you out on our first date?"

I mean really? One picture and thirty or so words about myself and you've decided I'm worth 2 hours and 50$? Sheesh, maybe I should date you… and get my car paid off while I'm at it. Oh, and then there are those who just don't know what to say, so they don't say anything at all:

"you sound interesting"

Uh, thanks? Delete.

And I realize that that comes off a bit shallow but like, don't I kind of have to be in this situation? I mean, I don't get to hear the charm in your voice, or see the smirk on your face when I read your message, I just have words. And a picture. It's your job to make them response worthy. Telling me everything I want to hear is obvious, asking me out right away, desperate, and pulling a Hottiedude is just well, pathetic. I mean, would you really approach someone in a bar like that? I can't say what the perfect opener is, since it's different for everyone, but funny and a little quirky will no doubt beat out obvious, desperate and pathetic any day.

Anyways, I don't really know what I'm really getting at here, I'm just writing. One thing is for sure though, this whole online dating experience is hilarious, too good to keep to myself, so expect updates regularly...

Food For Thought...

2009-11-21T13:07:00.005-05:00

"You are a woman. You have the power to cast spells over boys with your words, your silence, your gestures, your eyes, and your actions. This power can be super fun/entertaining, and will most likely result in an epic make out and/or someone falling in love with you. I can’t stress enough how much power you have. Use it wisely."

-Alexi Wasser

Unsolved Mysteries...

2009-11-21T00:58:00.006-05:00

Why are guys so good at coming up with horribly cruel and embarrassing signs to show their disinterest in a woman, and yet so illiterate when it comes to reading hers?

No, Really, He's Just Not That Into You...

2009-11-21T00:01:00.008-05:00

I was talking to one of the photographers at work the other day and he told me the most unfortunate story about this girl who continues to chase after him despite his many - and rather obvious - objections. Now, I get the whole "chase" thing, I do. I've "dated" assholes before and I've fallen for not so single guys too. Not being able to get what you want is not only hot, it's part of the game - it's just how it works. And in most cases, the torture of it all is also half the fun. But despite all that, there always comes the point where a girl needs to smarten up, pull her head out for a minute or two and assess the situation at hand, I mean really assess it - because none of the torture that an asshole puts you through is worth it if you never get to take him home... in which case he's just an ass.

Sometimes it's hard to figure him out yes, that is the point after all, but there are some obvious red flags that you should be aware of. So what I've done here is taken a few examples from some of my friends worst experiences to help you with that assessment of yours. Think of it as a checklist of sorts… a checklist of obvious signs he really couldn't care less about you or the fact that his rudeness is hurting your feelings.

In order to get his attention, you either have to tap him on the shoulder or get him cornered.

If you can't seem to get a moment alone with him, it's because he's not making himself available to you. Read between the lines. You do not need to be chasing anyone around, if anyone should be cornering and tapping, it's him.

He showed up to the party you invited him to with his best buddy… and 5 other girls.

Aside from being incredibly embarrassing, this move of his is actually his way of letting you down gently. Basically, he's trying to save you from the even more embarrassing (and not to mention totally pathetic) chasing and shoulder tapping with an advanced warning.

He keeps calling you "Lucy", and you keep reminding him that it's "Lindsay".

If he likes you, he'll remember your name. It doesn't matter if the only other time you met was 6 years ago when you ran into him with a friend at her dry cleaners or if you have one those names that includes an exclamation mark and asterix - he'll have it down. Forgetting is not the same as not giving a shit.

He makes out with your friend.

Well, I don't have much to say here other than if you can't figure this one out then you're hopeless, I mean really.

*Please note that this list is of course subject to change as men are exceedingly good at finding new cruel and embarrassing ways to avoid being upfront with a girl about their disinterest. Beware, you might not get to read about any of those new ways here first before you encounter them.

Men Are Like...

2009-11-06T15:56:00.003-05:00

... Blenders.

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

To Wax or Not to Wax... That's the REAL Question!

2009-11-01T20:01:00.019-05:00

Ok so this one was bound to come up eventually. I've been wanting to write about it for a while really, but finding the right approach proved harder than I thought. But then I read this:
(http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article6893826.ece)

For those of you who don't care to read it, I'll explain. It's an article from the Times Online, well actually it's a question sent in by 38 year old woman who recently stepped back into the dating game. She's dating a 27 year old now and they have reached a, shall we say, "point of conflict" in their relationship. Basically he freaked when she took her underwear off and exposed her rather unkempt ... "garden".

See now I'm all for grooming, in fact, I think it's probably the most important thing I look for in a partner, initially. The problem here however is that these days - in the case of just about any woman out there who isn't a porn star, stripper, or single 20yr old in the midst of her own personal sexual revolution - "unkempt" pretty much qualifies as anything that falls short of a Brazilian. And what's worse is that the Times Online Answer Person - yes that's her official title - sides with the woman's 27 yr old boyfriend in explaining how unfortunately, thanks to porn, Brazillians are now expected just as much as shaved legs and armpits are, and though it may not be very fair, because men have now been conditioned to find pubic hair "off-putting" in today's society, it's up to us to do something about it.

Um... excuse me? First of all, I highly doubt that enough women out there are spending the extra $50 a month it takes to get the damn thing waxed for it to really be much of a social standard. Second, if having a Brazillian or not is going to be the deal breaker in this relationship - or any one for that matter - then maybe it's not the pubic hair that needs to go. Ladies, don't stress out about what you should or should not be doing according to today's latest trends, or worse, your boyfriends happiness. Always do what is best for you. The average woman is not walking around completely bald like you might have been told she was. And that's because, like you, the average woman has a life, she has things to do and bills to pay - and unfortunately for her man, contemplating the latest trends in pubic hair and weather or not his pornographic fantasies are being fully satisfied are not that high up on her list of priorities.

Bottom line is that it's your body, and it's your comfort. If you can handle the pain (yes, the pain), the up-keep, and the cost, then go for it, because there are definitely some major benefits to going bare down there. But if for whatever reason you can't, or just can't decide, please don't let someone who cringes at the thought of tweezing his eyebrows influence or make you feel bad about a decision that involves ripping hot wax off your most sensitive parts.

You Tell Me...

2009-10-28T18:53:00.006-04:00

Ok, simple question: What is that one thing that you just cannot accept in a (potential) partner? For some it's lying - although, personally I think that's kind of ridiculous, not to mention hypocritical since we all do it anyway- for others it's bad grammar. A dorky name, bad hygiene, being rude to waiters, and wearing pants covered with the patches of various NBA teams are also popular ones.

(side-eye).

So you tell me: what is your deal breaker?

Fact...

2009-10-25T12:32:00.004-04:00

Fact: A scientist in Sheffeild, UK has finished a 60 year long study concluding that penis size - while crucial to men's confidence in terms of both body image and sexual performance - is more important amongst men themselves than women. Apparently, while 85% of women say they are satisfied by their partners size, only 55% of men were happy with what god gave them. The overall conclusion? Small penis syndrome is all in your head. Penis size doesn't really have an effect on the over-all attraction that women have toward men, so get over it. Stop stressing, because we know that, like presents, good penises come in all sorts of packages. And we will always choose quality over quantity ... except when talking shoes. (http://www.news-medical.net/news/2007/06/04/25972.aspx)

Alice in ... Loveland?

2009-10-25T11:01:00.008-04:00

Loveland, on Jeju Island in South Korea has literally given the term "amusement park" a whole new meaning. I can't tell if I find this incredibly cool or incredibly uncomfortable. It may actually be a bit of both. Whatever the case, I could definitely get lost in this park for hours.(http://jezebel.com/5389184/and-now-its-time-for-a-nsfw-field-trip-to-love-land/gallery/)

On a side note, interesting that a country which never speaks about sex, and frowns heavily upon PDA, has come up with such an explicit and elaborate display.

What Ever Happened To...

2009-10-15T22:11:00.010-04:00

Good Old-fashioned Sexual Intercourse?!

I know that advances in science and technology have done a lot of good for mankind, but this invention could quite possibly be the end of us. No, seriously. A former NASA engineer has developed a toy for men that promises a virtual sex experience. It's called Real Touch, and it's the craziest thing I've ever seen. The inside of this solo-sex contraption is specially designed to feel just like the inside of a woman; soft skin-like interior, squeezing and stroking mechanisms, a heating system, and even a lube reservoir that simulates wet skin-on-skin sensations! So instead of using the old rub n' tug technique, this machine is giving men everywhere the opportunity to actually feel what they're watching on screen (i.e.: porn). (http://www.realtouch.com/dispatcher/home)

Now, I'm not one to knock a good toy, but this really scares me. Is this thing eventually going to replace me? The way they're marketing it seems to suggest so; the toy that never says "no" and you'll never have to buy her drinks again, etc. When you put it like that, why would a man ever leave the house again?

I just hope that with all the excitement surrounding this new product men don't forget the fun and satisfaction that a real woman has to offer, otherwise we're all screwed (pardon the pun).

Life Between the Sheets

Tough Love...

Love Will Set You Clean...

New Beginnings...

Bob Marley on How to Love a Woman...

Food For Thought...

Unsolved Mysteries...

Dear Diary...

Breakup Rules...

Tweet Me...

formspring.me

Words of Wisdom...

Unsolved Mysteries....

Hooray! ...

New Year, New Look...

4 Types to Avoid...

On Romance...

Happy Holidays...

Our Second Language...

Blue Christmas....

New Nest....

A Classic...

The Big Question...

Food For Thought...

Food For Thought...

Thanks...

Attention Whores...

Men Are Like...

Memoried Feeling...

New Friend, New Me...

The Big Anouncement...

Sexy Inventions...

The Long Weekend...

Words of Wisdom...

(Untitled 2)...

The Ex-Factor...

On Being Woman...

(Untitled) ...

The Birthday Weekend...

Dear Diary...

Unsolved Mysteries...

Sexy Inventions...

Oops...

On Being Woman...

Been A Minute....

**Advisory**

Food For Thought...

Sum(mer) Inspiration...

What Ever Happened To...

Dear Diary....

Dear Diary...

Girl Code vs. Work Code

10 Reasons...

F.Y.I.

Words of Wisdom...

Sexy Inventions...

Normal and Happy...

Words of Wisdom...

Somewhere In The Middle.....

Just Thinkin'....

Men Are Like...

10 Reasons...

FYI

Rant!

Moving in Slow Motion...

Dear Diary...

Strike 1...

Words of Wisdom...

The Birthday Party...

Dear Diary...

Date Night...

Sexy Inventions...

The End of POF...

Dear Diary....

Secret Sex...

Words of Wisdom...

Looking on the Bright Side...

Happy Holidays...

Dear Diary....

Men Are Like...

Advisory