Unsolved Mysteries...

WHAT is up with guys calling/texting/emailing 2...3... even 4 years after the fact? I mean seriously, 4 years? Really? It was summer, I was out of town, we met in a bar ... are you seriously telling me that you didn't know that was a one-off? That you actually thought something serious was going to come of it?

I just wanted to get some. That's all.

We live in different cities for crying out loud, different countries even. Do we really need to go over the rules pertaining to different area codes?

(...sorry.)

Breakup Rules...

Uhhhhhh ok - this post is kinda out of the blue yes, but I just read Elaina's rather confused and frustrated post about breakups over at Life is a Great Big Canvas and just had to give my take on things (also, she asked me to - and it's not like I've ever been known to turn down giving my thoughts on someone else's problems...) So, Elaina, here are my (official) rules on how to manage a breakup:

Rule #1:

There is only one rule: Complete cut-off.

 

It doesn't matter what your history with him is, the only way to move on post breakup is to cut all contact. Don't talk to him, don't see him, don't hangout in places he does, or with people he knows. Get rid of him on FB, email, Skype, even your phone (thats BBM and your contact list). Not cutting him off is like quitting smoking and not taking that pack of cigarettes out of your car, and/or purse and/or breast pocket. If they are around, you will be tempted. To smoke, to hold, to smell... to just sit there and stare at, for hours. Way too close.

You see the thing with breakups is that they usually happen for a reason. If you're talking about, considering, or enduring a breakup, it's most likely because deep down you know this person isn't for you. Which means that although it's a tough decision, it's the right one, and you need to just take comfort in that and move on. 

Now of course the feelings don't go away over night, and of course it's going to be hard to break those habits that you've formed over the 3 years/months/days you were with him (ie: talking/texting everyday, eating together, sleeping together etc...) BUT, it's only going to be harder to rid yourself of all that if he's still just a click or call away.

Who knows if what they say about taking half the time you were together to get over the breakup is true or not (everyone is different), but what's most important is that you do take time. Not to be alone period, but at least alone from him.

Also, guys and girls are not friends, especially not after a breakup. So whatever the circumstances,  the history (wtv), things won't be "easier" if you "remain friends", or "still talk", or have "casual sex" every once in a while.

PUH-LEASE. (rolls eyes)

The truth is, you and him were never "just friends" otherwise you would never have had sex. Sex, or at least a sexual attraction, was the catalyst for this "friendship", don't fool yourself by telling you otherwise. 

You broke up, it was the right thing to do, now move on. You'll be surprised at how quick your heart heals if you just focus on other things (mainly you and what makes you smile). Out of sight out of mind is not just a saying, it's motto to live by (at least when it comes to breakups that is).

Trust me, It's way too easy to see and hear things you don't want to see or hear when you keep contact with your ex, so if you don't want drama, don't go looking for it. But if you do, well, that's a different story all together now isn't it?

Tweet Me...

@MorganBTWS is now officially on Twitter. Yup that's right, I've jumped on the band wagon.

So, if you're on Twitter and you'd to hear more of my little musings on sex, love and dating in 140 characters or less, follow me and we'll tweet to each other! (Or, is it twit?) Whatever, we'll have fun! 

 

See you there! xox