The End of An Era...

FUCK.

One of my best friends just got engaged.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled for her. She's amazing & he is too, and they are definitely not going to get divorced or anything - but it depressed me. 

Not in like a "I want to get married too" kind of way, no, more just like "damn it, not another one". 

I know, I know, I'm awful for thinking that. But I'm also being honest. I mean, it's just another reminder that IT is happening to me. You know what I'm talking about, that point in your life where literally EVERYONE you know is either getting married or having babies, or planning for it.

Yes it's wonderful for them & you're happy they're happy, but it's really hard ignore the whole shrinking circle part and not get bummed about it. To not feel more & more alone.

So while they're all enjoying having life figured out, you're all like, "Wtf are you doing you moron? You had a perfectly good relationship (even though it actually turned out to be shit), a fully furnished apartment with real, grown-up furniture (and plants), and had real, adult couple stuff like a baby name list, and a shared wireless network password. And you left it all for what? Happiness? ...You idiot."

And sure, it's fun being single, at first. But then one month turns into two, and then two in to four, and next thing you know it's six months down the line and you're only flirt fix is texting an old college friend who's long since moved away, and pretending that Olivia Pope's torrid love affair is enough for the both of you.

So life sends you these little "gifts" of reality - brokeness, friend's engagements, anxiety attacks - to snap you out of it & remind you that no, having a life doesn't "just happen" to you anymore. Things are much different these days - you have to work for it.

And until you realize that, slowly but surely, each and every one of your friends will be taken away from you.

... time for a change little one.