Happy Holidays!

Hi all!

Hope you're enjoying a wonderful holiday! I am. Taking it easy & fully relaxed for the first time in a long time. Feels amazing.

My holidays have been lovely.  A little lonely, but it honestly wasn't as bad as I feared it might be.

Actually, you know what, that's not fair. I take that back. have been really good, period.

Not "considering my breakup", or "for having to spend it single", but just generally; I've been doing really great.

I've been laughing a lot, catching up with old friends, eating good food & hanging with family. As far as holidays life goes, I'd say that's pretty awesome.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think of Smooth at all. Of course I did. We texted a bit, helped each other with some gift ideas, & wished each other merry christmas.

It was nice. And probably necessary, at least for me anyway, since its hard to just stop turning to that person you turn to for everything all of the sudden.

I think that's a part we're both still adjusting to really, which I would assume is quite normal after any "serious" relationship.

Though I must admit I'm quite content with being on my own right now; can't say I miss having to think about someone else's needs & wants all the time.

...

Come to think of it, I don't think I really ever explained what ended up happening with us, did I? Like real break-up, not just the split.

Basically we tried separation; still together, but living apart. We thought that maybe physical space was all that was needed. That it would help him us to appreciate me our relationship a little more, if we missed each other a bit.

But when we found that 3 or 4 days could pass where we didn't even text, let alone call one another, we knew our problems were bigger than we had originally thought.

So I went over one night & we talked about all of it. What he needed, what I needed & what the best option was in order for us to both get that.

Ending it was the answer. It was sad, but it was right, & we both knew that. And because of that, I've been able to let go of all the emotions rather easily. Sure I miss him, and I suppose he misses me, but we're not about to get back together just because of that. We have issues that go deeper than time & space. Issues that require real work on himself ourselves, first.

Who knows what will happen in the future, I'm not laying my cards down either way, all I know is that right now isn't the right time for us.

So we're apart. And it's for the better.

...

Well, this post took a depressing turn didn't it? And all I set out to say was happy holidays.

I'll make the next one better, promise.

xox