Pay attention because Samantha Scholfield just saved your life. Okay, maybe that’s a bit drastic, but seriously, at the very least, she just made it A LOT easier. I’m talking about your dating life of course. You see, she’s made it her life’s mission to experience all the rejection, awkwardness and frustration that comes with meeting guys on purpose and published it for you to read. We’re talking humiliation that you wouldn’t wish on your best frenemy here, and why? So that YOU don’t have to worry about those moments (almost) ever again. The book is called ‘Screw Cupid: The Sassy Girl’s Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys’, and it’s funny, practical, and totally (and somewhat embarrassingly) relatable. The main point of the book is that there is a right way to go about the dating game, and f.y.i. it’s not the one your mom taught you. For a bigger, better, and funner (yeah its a word) time searching for Mr. Right, you need to be sassy, smart and spontaneous. Trust her, she’s a professional.BTS: First of all, what is a 'Sassy Girl' exactly?
SS: The "Sassy Girl" is sick of the societal norm of guy asks girl out and is ready to take her dating life into her own hands by getting out there and meeting new people, and expanding her horizons to make herself the best person she can be. She also loves herself and is confident of her awesomeness.
BTS: One thing you stress early on in the book is confidence. You say that this book is not for those who like to use the ole' 'bat-your-eyelashes-and-smile' method. Why don’t you approve of that method?
SS: Good question. It's not so much that I don't approve of the "bat-your-eyelashes" flirting - being coy and flirty definitely has it's place and can be very effective within that place. I just don't think that place is before initial contact with the guy you're interested in. Basically, if you let on that you're interested in a guy (i.e. batting your eyelashes and smiling), the excitement of the chase for him goes down dramatically, and therefore so does his interest. Guys want what they don't know they have. If you don't indicate any interest, you're setting yourself up to be much more interesting than the girl to your left who's blowing kisses, before any words are exchanged - and guys always dig the more interesting girl.
BTS: Ok, so then if girls are to ditch that method, where are they to find the confidence to take on yours? I mean, it’s one thing to talk to guys when you're little miss perfect, but it's a whole different ball game when you're little miss ... not.
SS: I think it takes much more confidence to put yourself out there with the eyelash batting and coy smiling than it does to use Screw Cupid's methods. When you make it clear you're interested, the possibility of rejection goes way up because he's very aware of your interest. Whereas if you don't indicate interest (i.e.per Screw Cupid), he can't reject you because he doesn't know whether or not you're interested. So, whether or you're little miss perfect or not, it doesn't matter because you're not putting yourself out there to be rejected. Finally, I devote a whole section of Screw Cupid to building up your confidence so that you can use Screw Cupid's methods. I start out with stuff you do everyday that's totally un-scary, and then gradually walk you through five different levels of confidence building and practice until you're completely comfortable initiating conversations with Hot Guys.
SS: The "Sassy Girl" is sick of the societal norm of guy asks girl out and is ready to take her dating life into her own hands by getting out there and meeting new people, and expanding her horizons to make herself the best person she can be. She also loves herself and is confident of her awesomeness.
BTS: One thing you stress early on in the book is confidence. You say that this book is not for those who like to use the ole' 'bat-your-eyelashes-and-smile' method. Why don’t you approve of that method?
SS: Good question. It's not so much that I don't approve of the "bat-your-eyelashes" flirting - being coy and flirty definitely has it's place and can be very effective within that place. I just don't think that place is before initial contact with the guy you're interested in. Basically, if you let on that you're interested in a guy (i.e. batting your eyelashes and smiling), the excitement of the chase for him goes down dramatically, and therefore so does his interest. Guys want what they don't know they have. If you don't indicate any interest, you're setting yourself up to be much more interesting than the girl to your left who's blowing kisses, before any words are exchanged - and guys always dig the more interesting girl.
BTS: Ok, so then if girls are to ditch that method, where are they to find the confidence to take on yours? I mean, it’s one thing to talk to guys when you're little miss perfect, but it's a whole different ball game when you're little miss ... not.
SS: I think it takes much more confidence to put yourself out there with the eyelash batting and coy smiling than it does to use Screw Cupid's methods. When you make it clear you're interested, the possibility of rejection goes way up because he's very aware of your interest. Whereas if you don't indicate interest (i.e.per Screw Cupid), he can't reject you because he doesn't know whether or not you're interested. So, whether or you're little miss perfect or not, it doesn't matter because you're not putting yourself out there to be rejected. Finally, I devote a whole section of Screw Cupid to building up your confidence so that you can use Screw Cupid's methods. I start out with stuff you do everyday that's totally un-scary, and then gradually walk you through five different levels of confidence building and practice until you're completely comfortable initiating conversations with Hot Guys.
I just read the 5 dating mistakes piece. Very good! A sixth mistake might be "overcompensating" with confidence, appearance, personality, etc. I know, that's sort of an extension of the "be yourself" advice, but overcompensating is something we do for a lot of reasons - especially when we're nervous and self-concious on a first date. Nice work!
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