9.18.2016

A conversation you don't need the begining of to get...

[...]

So the question is do you say something to him? Well, yes, I think so.

Partly because if you're like me, you're tired of the bs and have been let down too many times by guys you could have sworn at least respected you enough as a human being to actually be real with, so at this point in your life you don't have time for games.

But also because listen, if you ever have the slightest inkling that you are being taken for a round, you're probably right. And sure, they'll tell you that's not always the case, or that they aren't all the same, or not to put your baggage from one onto another (I'm literally laughing at just how many times I have heard this), but the truth is that's the routine. That's what they say (some more convincingly than others) because that's how they keep you. For them, for later. Don't be fooled.

So then how do you know? Truth? You don't. If I've learned one thing, its that you really just don't. You will be deliberately mislead by those claiming to be "real", totally misread the signs of those who are not, all the while completely oblivious or dismissive of the ones of those who really are.

What it comes down to is timing; your eyes being open at the right time and having the right guy at the right point in his life walk into focus. That's literally it.

The rest is just life. And lessons.

So how is it so easy for everyone else? Its not. But they're saying "okay, I'll just go for it and see" or "I'll just chose this one, because I can" or because its safe or because it's a "good enough" version of love and they'll deal with the rest later, or not.

That's what I've learned. There are lucky ones, but they're the lucky ones.

And its fucking sad. And scary. Because you don't want "good enough", you want the real thing. And there is no shame in that, but understand that holding out for it is going to require that you be ready and whole enough within yourself to be able to love yourself enough to heal your own wounds.

Because its going to be a rough journey, yes ma'am a very rough one indeed - but worth every bit once arrived.

So yes, tell him. Tell him you are not here for the bs. Be strong enough to say that "at the very least, I'm worth honesty and truth, and at the very most, divine and devoted love. So if you're too weak to give that to me that's fine, I can do that for me myself, but take me off your list of girls to waste time with, because I'm on a mission here and you're just getting in the way."

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