If not this... what?

Why am I like this?

Why do I get so attached to the idea of a man.

There is a guy, who I so desperately want to be "my guy", literally the sum of things I have asked for since I was fourteen up until lessons I learned this past summer. The definition of a man. Secure, strong minded, kind, loving, beautiful, driven, directed, focused, confident, calm, grown, mature... and yet, still, not available to me.

WHY.

Does it really all come down to location? I don't know if this is gonna make any sense to you - but it can't be that love is ruled by geography. Location can't be the determining factor in what is for you and what is not ... right?

It can't be the reason why you don't win... right? 

Life wouldn't dangle this in front of you like a carrot just for the hell of it... right?

Then again, maybe, its not geography.

Maybe, just maybe... it's him.